And then what had happened was...

As soon as my number was changed, I began to lose my entire mind. I missded he and knowing that he couldn't reach me over the telephone and I couldn't reach him...yea, it was all too much too soon.

I started doubting myself. "Should I have waited just a lil while longer? I mean, I am making the man choose between something he has always known that he wanted for his life and me...something he never planned on taking seriously. I couldn't have waited a whole damn week at least??" But then rational Enigma would kick in, "Shit I ain't ask him to move in, I just asked that he tell me how he feels about me. This nukka want me to be satisfied with only having parts of him and I can't even know how he really feels about me? I mean damn, I can get down with being a sucker for love, but I'll be damned if I'm a sucker for just some peen!" Hmph!

Anywho, both insane and rational Enigma got together and decided to call one of Obama's best friends - a mere two days after changing my number. The call was guised as me asking him about repairs he'd done to my car. I got "T" to call him on her phone on the three-way so that he woudln't have my new number and give it to Obama. To be clear, at that point I really just wanted to know if Obama had tried to call me or not. I still didn't necessarily want him to have my new number or give in without my demand (yes, demand) that he tell me his feelings for me being met. I just wanted to see if he knew my number was changed.

It became apparent one I told his friend who I was that Obama had in fact tried to call. His boy started laughing and was like , "Damn why you change your number on my boy?? You got this nigga walking around like somebody raped his damn dog!!" I told him that I was just trying to make it easier on Obama by removing myself from the situation since he couldn't to which he responded, "Ma, you're not doing him any favors by bouncing on him like that. trust me." I asked him about the brakes that I was told he had done. They were still squeaking and I needed him to take a look at them again. he told me he never did the brake because they didn't need to be done. Remembering the money that I had gave to Obama to get the repairs done, I asked old boy what he had done. When he couldn't tell me, I asked him to check with Obama and have him call back the number I just called him from, ("T"'s).

Well, "T" and I had a falling out as soon as Obama's friend hung up because she wanted me to flip my lid over the money/repairs (or lack thereof). Now, I did raise an eyebrow to dude telling me that the repairs that I had paid for and had been told were done, were NOT. However, I was waiting to hear from Obama to see where the money went and I told "T" as much. She kept saying that Obama had kept it and was trying to play me out, yada, yada, yada. I told her that I'd handed over hundreds to Obama to get things done for me when I couldn't and it had never been a problem before. So, I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and wait to hear from him what happened to the money.

Well, when I told her I'd handed hundreds over to him before, she told me not to say anything else to her about Obama because I was gonna do what I wanted to do anyway. (which is true) But uh...damn...you're supposed to be my "best" friend and your telling me that I can't talk to you about something going on in MY life because you don't agree with how calm I am about it?? I mean, not even because I asked for your advice and did something different, or because I'd been complaining about him taking money for me before, but because I wouldn't just automatically assume that the man who has never failed to look me in my eye and tell me the truth when it mattered most, or who has proven that if I need him, he's there, the man that I told you has always met me 50/50 on everything - something I can"t even say about YOU....I'm just supposed to believe he would steal such a small amount from me and for no damn good reason. Nah. So I ended our conversation with "I can't believe you of all people just told me not to talk to you about something because you don't agree with how I feel about my situation (remember, I never asked her shit about her opinion, nor did I tell her that what she was saying couldn't be true. I simply wanted to hear what this man- whom I loved most for his ability to be honest with me- had to say about the situation.) But I guess I'll talk to you later. (we've spoken twice since then-it's been about 3 weeks-and both convos were extremely awkward).

As much as I want to chalk her reaction up to her just looking out for me, it's really hard to do. She knows more than anyone all that he has done for me. That was the ONE time that anything janky ever came up him (possibly) trying to play me. Annnnd, the amount of money in question (I'd given him $150 to get FOUR things done to the car. The price was a blessing in itself since with parts and labor it would have been much more if it wasn't his boy dong it and if he didn't help him make the repairs) was no where near the amounts he has entrusted me with in the last few months - so why was she tripping?? Especially considering how the dude whose ass she had her head permanently implanted treats her in comparison.  I mean dude is straight up single - no kids no nothing yet he still shows no interest in making time for her. She has to beg him for penis, BEG HIM.... and that's even with her driving across town to pick him up and dropping him off afterwards. And MOST times he has her do all of that and stands her up with no call or nothing. Whic usually results in her blowing his phone up for hours on end unil he finally answers in front of allof his boys just to say some fouls sit to her so they can her it. Plus he's ugly..and broke...and just down-right MEAN to her. He talks to her like she's a whore and she let's him. When I take all of that into consideration, I really rack my brain as to why she'd feel so strongly about Obama. Jeaousy would be the obvious answer, but with my own ups and downs in love i question what sane person would envy my life at this point. But whatever.

Anyway, I'd soon have the answers I was looking for as Obama called me the next night. (I'd called his friend back that afternoon to give him my new number since it was looking like I wouldn't have access to "T""s phone anytime soon)

Because know-it-alls need advice sometimes too....

Hey folks-

A few weeks ago I was feeling some type of way about my best friend, "T" and trying to figure out if perhaps our friendship had run it's course. In my circle, I'm usually the one my friends come to for advice and often times I find that I have noone to go to when I need help finding answers. THANK GOD FOR THE INTERNET. I've truly met some of the most amazing, intelligent people online and one of them just happens to have a brand new site up and running where she doles out her sage advice. I sent her an email describing my dilemma and she gave some really great advice. Check it out.

Introducing: Egypt

Egypt and I grew up in the same building. Two years my junior, I kind of looked to her as my protege, seeing as how I just knew I was the shit I was the person who showed her that there was a whole life beyond the building that we grew up in.

I was about 12/13 (which made her 10/11) and wanted to make that twenty-block trek to see my "Pookie". "Kat" was on punishment for missing curfew the last time we'd been up there and I was dreading having to go up there by myself. I went downstairs, fully prepare to suck it up and go lone when I saw young Egypt sitting in the lobby. I swear it was like a lightbulb had went of in my head. I was suddenly seeing this girl in a whole new light. She was a cute kid and I knew she was smart since her mom had me tutor her a few months prior. I figured she'd go up there and fit right in with the guys. I asked her if she wanted to come with me to see my boyfriend and she agreed. I suggested she go upstairs and get fresh (couldn't roll up there with no bum chick lol) and then we were off.

That was it. That was all I did.**

Because I was such a good kid, Egypt's mom had no problem with us being friends and Egypt soon became part of my "crew". Most of the time we were walking to see "Pookie" and his friends, but we spent just as much time holed up in one of our apartments blasting music and eating each others' parents out of house and home.

One day, "Kat", Egypt, myself and another snake-eyed bitch crew member* were chilling at my house. "Kat" and I decided we wanted to go to the store for snacks but Egypt and the snake-eyed bitch other chick didn't feel like coming, so me and Kat left them in my room watching tv. When we got back, my mom stopped us before we got to my room and said she wanted to talk to us. We all sit at the table and my mom goes into the spiel about us being at the age of experimenting, yada, yada, yada. Me and 'Kat" look at each other, laugh and ask my mom what she's talking about. My mom then tells us that she went into my room, not realizing that Egypt and the snake-eyed bitch other chick was still there and walked ino the two of them in my bed going at it like lovers. Me and "Kat" went from being shocked to straight up appalled when my mom then asked if "Kat" and I liked girls too. I think our genuine "wtf" expressions were enough to convince her as she dismissed us with a warning to watch the other two and make sure they didn't try to get us to do anything "strange" lol

"Kat" and I continued to be friends with them, but kind of at a distance. Around the same time, "Kat" and Egypt started to befriend another girl in our building, "T". 'T" and I had been play partners when we were like 6/7 but hadn't really spent much time as we got older because she went to a different elementry school than the rest of us.

One day the three of us: Egypt, "T" and I were supposed to go out and Egypt's mother was tripping saying she couldn't come out. Typical on-the-move teenagers, "T" and I chalked dueces and told Egypt we'd catch her on the flip side and proceeded to the mall. When we got back, we went to my house and listened to music. That pretty much solidified she and I as friends. Her mom was damn near never home, which gave her as much freedom as I had and she was my age, so I didn't have to contantly be concerned as to whether or not I was "turning her out". lol In turn, I had all the hot shit at my house as far as music, movies, etc. My room was a teenage girl's dream. I had even transform the floor of my closet into a "phone booth" with huge pillows. Needless to say, our friendship worked out perfectly. lol

That was eight grade, when I was 13.

A few things happened in the years following that, Egypt and her mom moved to a different part of the city, "Kat" and I stopped speaking, " I lost "Pookie", "Kat" and I fought (the day before my eight grade graduation), "Kat" and her mom moved to North Carolina, I started high school at a private school (sans crew for the first time), I started dating my high school sweetheart, AND my favorite sister moved back home and had a baby for me to flood with kisses.

Somehow when the dust cleared from all of those events, Egypt and I were no longer as close as we used to be. In fact, I barely saw her since most of my after-school time went to my boyfriend and newborn niece and the free time I did have for "girl-talk" was spent with "T" who still lived in my building and went to a cooler school than mine with a football team. (my school was a brain school- no footbal team and our girls' bb team was waaaay better than the guys. lol). Egypt and I never had a falling out or anything, I just kind moved on. I was at the new school meeting all of these new people, and she was still in grammar school trying to finish up seventh grade. *shrugs*.

I know it may sound heartless, but , in my defense, I didn't really see any of my friends, and not for nothing, Egypt didn't exactly reach out to me either. Plus, I know she wasn't totally alone. While I was boo'd up, "T" and a new crew member, Q would go to Egypt's house all of the time.

Oh no, wait. I lied. Egypt did reach out to me during my junior (her freshman) year in high school. My HS Sweetheart and I had just gone thru a whole ordeal with him telling me he'd made a mistake that resulted with a baby that could possibly be his. As we waited the three weeks for the test to confirm or deny, I got a call from Egypt out of the blue.

ME: Hello? *confused at this random as number on my caller id*

Egypt *in her new-found-i'm-finally-in-high school-chicken-head voice*: Enigmaaaaa! You know "HS Sweetie" got a baaaabyyyy?

ME: Hi Egypt., long time no hear. No, we don't know that- we're still waiting on the test-

Egypt *cutting me off*: Uh huuuuh. I'm holding her right now. Oh my gaaaaaaaawd!!!!! She looks just like HS. Sweetie***!

Me: Wow. *hangs up*

So yea, that's when I first realized that despite out years as BFF's, I could no longer look at Egypt as a certified friend nor assume that she would ever have my best interest in mind. I would have never done it that way- especially not from the chick's house. But that's just me.

Unfortunately, that was not the last time I would have to side-eye one of her moves or question  her motives.

To be continued....

* Remember the "friend" I had call "Pookie"? Yea, that was that bitch....

**Remember this as it will come up later.

***No, the baby was not his and we stayed together until the day of my graduation and broke-up for other reasons. Perhaps I'll blog about that one day....