I know, I know...

I suck.

I dropped the bomb about Obama and then just dropped off the face of blogspot. My bad. Seriously. Work has just been more....work than usual. But rest assured. I am not somewhere crying my eyes our over a man that was never mine. The end of the tryst hurt, but we all know I cam into the situation with my eyes wide open and regardless of how it ended, it was a beautiful experience while it lasted. He is still around, just to a different extent. I know I can call him when I need something and he'll do whatever he can to make it happen or find someone who can if he can"t. At the end of the day, I'm happy with that.

Like I said, work has been a tad hectic lately....but even that is fine since it gives me ammo to go to my boss in January for my yearly review and demand more money. So yea, I;'m good.

My baby is home....I know I don"t usually talk too much about my role as "mommy" on here, and I have my reasons for that. But having him back is the best feeling ever. He's such a character! I don't see how I didn't lose my mind for the year that he was gone. Maybe I'll share a few stories with you guys abut my baby, we'll see...

"Sweet Black Pipe"has resurfaced...that's a whole blog in itself...coming soon.

I'm buying a laptop in the next week or so, so I should be able to give you guys a more detailed update soon.

In the meantime, I'd suggest watching a reality show or two to get your fuckery fix until I return. ;)

Oh yea, my sister (yea, that one) came home to visit this weekend. This makes only the second time I've seen her since our falling our. The first time being right after my dad passed. So yea, ummm...expect a blog on that soon as well....

Toodles snitches~! ;)

Yo.

I just wrote an entire blog giving recaps on Sweet Black Pipe, Street Fighter and Obama and lost it due to a series of unfortunate computer events. Sigh So here's the recapped, recap:

Sweet Black Pipe- Done. I don't wanna kick it and he only wants sex. Saw him at the bar and he gave me a head nod. Guess he feels it's ok for his mouth to open while near my lady parts but not to say hello. *shrugs* Whatever.

Street Fighter- Still stupid, still texts me for some reason. Doesn't get a response and I haven't been to Barbara's in a few weeks so I haven't seen him. He can eat a dick too.

Obama- Stayed with me for the rest of the week until that Saturday. Had his daughter during the day and her mother was bullshitting with picking her up. Then something happened and he said she's done "some stupid shit" and he went out with his boys to blow steam. He was supposed to come to my house afterwards but didn't. The next day I text him and he replied that he'd "See me on the weekend". I deleted his number. That Wednesday he dropped by unannounced because he was "in the area" and stayed for about 15 minutes. I told him that I'd deleted his number and he got upset saying I was trying to cut him off* and "Oh, you must miss me" and "You wanna be a big baby" and was tcikling me and bear hugging me trying to make me laugh (it worked, I'm a sucker for a tickler). When he was leaving he said again that he'd see me on the weekend- that was the last I heard from him.

I haven't tried to call/text him because well.. I deleted his number. IDK what's going on with him but hopefully he's ok. That's all I really wanna say about that.

*I don't do well with goodbyes. Usually when I feel that my presence is no longer appreciated, or that I'm falling too fast for someone that means me no good, I make myself scarce. He knows this and he always tells me not to go rogue on him and cut him off. 

Street Fighter: Game OVER

Ok, so remember the last paragraph of the Street Fighter's sequel blog and how we were supposed to meet up to see Alice in Wonderland? Yea, well he stood me up. No phone call, nothin. Now this is cool considering I expected it and was actually already at the nail salon once 6:15pm (the time the movie started) rolled around. I didn't call or text him to see what happened. In fact, I can honestly say I didn't think twice about him or our planned date until Saturday night when me and my friends got to Barbara's and he was at the front door. They were packed to capacity and had stopped letting folk in (until the four of us got there). He let my freinds in then held me back and gave me a hug, he tried to kiss on me but I gave him the hands-on-chest pushaway and proceeded to the bar. I left out without saying bye to him and Sunday he sent me a text that says, "What,s good with you today so get back to me" to which I respond, "What happened to me seeing you friday?" An hour goes by and I get no response so I send a text that said "Hellloooo...". Still no reponse. At this point I just want him to give me whatever lame excuse he has so that I can let him know that I need a more intelligent reliable dude in my stable and give him his walking papers (without damaging my chances of ever getting in Barbara's again.)

So this morning our text convo goes like this:

Me: "What happened to me seeing you friday?

Street Fighter: Good moning to you (yes, "moning")

Me: Good morning. What happened to me seeing you on friday?"

Street Fighter: "I,am going to call you leter." (yes,, "leter") 

Me: I want to know why you asked to see me, then stood me up with no phone call or nothing."

Street Fighter: "My baby,s wasing filing going becus that way i forgot to call you to let know." {I have no idea what the fuck this means. I forwarded it to my friend 'T" and she was just as stumped as I. If any of you speak Stupid please let me now if you can interpret this for me. kthanx.}

Hhe then sends this text right after, " Look i went you so bad." To which I replied," Nah. You can't have me. Take care." He then sent a text that read. "You got that" (whatever the fuck that means).

So now I am street fighter free (yay) and luckily in such a way that I don't look like the bad guy, or get kicked in the face cause you know that nigga know karate lol. so getting into Barbara's shouldn't be an issue. But, just in case, I've been letting the bouncer that works the back door there flirt with me. I made sure to let him know that I was talking to Street Fighter when he asked for my number a few weeks ago and I let him know that I couldn't give it to him. Still, he's continued to flirt and buy me drinks so I think I'm good.

On to the next one....

I didn't get to see Sweet Black Pipe this weekend because he was in Atlanta *insert sad face here* . He text me when he got back and asked if I missed him. We'll see what happens with him....

TaTa for now.....

p.s. I really hope Street Fighter didn't think that funky ass bracelet (as pretty as it is) was gonna get him a ticket to Candyland. He better get outta here. lol

Introducing: The Sticky Rug, Barbara's and The NightLite [Enigma likes her yak}

Ok, So before I can introduce you guys to The Street Fighter, I think it’s important to first introduce the watering holes that I frequent so that it all kinda makes sense. Let me start off by saying I am not a club girl. In fact, I HATE clubs. It’s too much for me. What I do love, however, are bars. It’s more of an intimate atmosphere and for the most part, you know most of the people there. Plus you get to play your own music- double plus for a music snob like me.

That being said, when my girls (whom I will also introduce to you all in the coming weeks) and I decide to get together and go out, our night usually goes Sticky Rug>Barbara’s and sometimes the NightLite.*

The Sticky Rug

This is usually where we go to get the party started. It is definitely the epitome of a hole-in-the-wall dive, but we love it. There’s a pool table when you first walk in, a friendly, older gentleman bartender that loves when we come in and a sticky rug (hence our nickname for it) lol . The bartender/owner there, James, calls us the “Light ‘em up girls” because when we come in we order shots of Jeremiah Weed on Fire (pictured above) and drink it while it’s lit. For the most part, the crowd there is older (I’m talking 40+) with a few young heads (like us) sprinkled in. we like to go there b/c the likelihood of us getting shot is low (which is definitely a risk you take when bar hopping in the hood) and we can go there without worrying about getting dressed up (unless we’re their pre-gaming for an actual party or event that we heading to later in the evening). The Sticky Rug is like our very own Cheers and it hasn’t disappointed yet. Another plus for that place is that most of the drinks are $2.50. Heeeeeey! There was that one incident where OG came by to buy us drinks and this old lady he went to school with tried to play me to the left and take him home. That was the night I whispered in his ear "You kow I'm crazy and I've been drinking AND I got my girls in tow. You better get this bitch before I cancel her ass"...perhaps I'll tell that story another day. lol 

Barbara’s

The second spot we usually hit this is where it’s poppin more often then not. Though this place resembles The Sticky Rug during the week as far as the age of the crowd, come Saturday night the age group ranges anywhere from 21 and all the way up. This is where the negroes and negrettes come to be seen and put on their finest hood attire. Sometimes they have a DJ, but DJ or not it’s usually packed and alive unless there’s a party going on somewhere else. Because of this, the likelihood of getting shot is like 5x’s greater than at the Sticky Rug (which is why unlike at the sticky rug, this place has bouncers at the door checking id’s and patting folk down), but we tend to have a spidey sense as to when it’s time to bounce. Usually when the bouncers announce that they’re not letting anyone else in is when we get our last round in plastic cups and head out b/c we know some idiot is gonna be mad enough to shoot up the place if they or their man’s n’em can’t get in.

The NightLite

Now this is our home bar. Right around the corner from the pj’s where my friends and I grew up, The NightLite is where all the ppl from our old neighborhood tend to celebrate their birthdays. My friends and I, for the most part are kind of snobbish when it comes to our old hood. We have all moved out and on to better things and we tend to not really kick it with the ppl from our old hood that haven’t. The guys are all (bigtime) drug dealers and are usually trying to make one of us their next babymomma (despite the fact that their married or otherwise in a long-term relationship. And the chicks tend to suck their teeth at us b/c we’re ding good and not too beat for them. “Stuck up is what I believe they call us. Ah well…anywho, despite alladat, when we go there to party it is all love. That place is truly like going home. The likelihood of getting shot is just as great here as it is at Barbara’s but for some reason, collectively we feel safer there, like somehow we know that the dude we grew up with would somehow make sure we made it to our car safely. We have also collectively agreed that we have no reason to truly believe this, but hey, it makes us feel safe enough to drink there. Lmao

After the Nitelite is usually Alice’s, the diner where everyone who was at the local bars comes to eat. We call it club Alice’s because it is like Barbara’s on steroids with pancakes and burgers instead of drinks. It gets so bad that sometimes you can’t even find a park/table/etc. Oh yea, and the likelihood of getting shot is THE GREATEST here since this is where ppl from different hoods in the city usually come to get their grub on after partying at their local hot spot. Plus it's on a main street that leads to our neighboring city and you just never know. Sometimes we just say ‘eff it” and head to the pizza parlor instead.

So there you have it. On the days when me and my girls just kinda wanna chill and drink, this is our schedule.

Now that that’s done, I will introduce you to The Street Fighter….in the next blog lol

BTW- Sweet Black Pipe and I met at The Sticky Rug

* The names of the bars have been changed to protect my identity and exact location. Some of ya'll seem cool but you anonymous folk tend to creep me out. lol But seriously...

Introducing: Sweet Black Pipe {and Big Sexy}

Hey, hey, hey everyone. I know I had made an entire list of blogs that I needed to write. But since my blogging time seems to be limited, they'll hav eto be spaced apart instead of the onslaught of 5/6 at a time like I wante dto do.


So first things first, like I mentioned before, my dad (stepfather of 25 yrs) passed away on February 23rd. It happened so suddenly that I don't think I'll ever really come to grips with it. For right now I'm managing. I feel like I've been on auto-pilot since that night- I notice that if I watch a tv show on my DVR, I have to go back and watch it again because somehow, though I thought I was giving it my full attention, I somehow missed chunks of the show.IDK. I have an entire blog that I want to write but not now...I'm just not ready yet.

Moving on to a lighter subject...MENS!!!

So I met a new dude, "Sweet Black Pipe". (explanation of the name coming shortly) I met him at the hole-in-the-wall bar that my friends and I like to go to. I'd seen him a few times in there talking to one of my friends, but never really paid much attention to him. A few weeks ago, I noticed him looking at me and we had a nice, flirty convo (that included me grabbing on his chest and his huge arms in a semi-drunken daze) that went no where. The weekend after that, my friends took me out for shots to toast my dad whom they all knew and loved, at that same bar. This time even tho I saw Sweet Black Pipe in there, he and I didn't talk much. I did, however, began talking to another dude and gave him my number. We shall call this dude Big Sexy cause, well...he is. We had a really good convo and I actually looked forward to hearing from him. That was on a Friday. Fast forward to the morning of the following Friday at approximately 7:34 am and Big Sexy texts me a msg "Good morning gorgeous". This is Big Sexy from the bar. Remember me?" I text him back, "Yea, thought you'd forgotten about me" or something to that effect, and got no response. That night we go back to the bar and he's in there...and so is Sweet Black Pipe.

This time I notice that the two of them know each other as they spend most of the night talking. I had already made up my mind that Big Sexy would get no play from me since he waited so long to use my number, didn't respond to my text and then barely acknowledged me when he saw me at the bar that night. Coincidently Sweet Black Pipe was impressing more and more. He not only gave up his seat at the packed bar, but made another man get up so my friend and I could sit together as well. So he and I begin taking and he tells me that his cousin is interested in me as well. Confused I ask who and lo and behold his cousin, his so-close-they're-damn-near-brothers cousin is none other then Big Sexy. Never one to like confusion or too much drama, I immediately tell him that I'd given dude my number but he'd blown it and I tell him how Big Sexy blew it so that he would not make the same mistake. Sweet Black Pipe and I continue talking and we seem to be impressing each other more and more. At one point during our intimate chat, I hear a booming voice call my name. I look over and it's Big Sexy. I give him the "what up?" head nod and he booms something else. I say "Huh?" since we're right next to the jukebox and the music is blaring. He puts up his arms, says something else and then nods his head and says (what I assume is ) "Aiight". Meanwhile, Sweet Black Pipe gets me and my friend another drink. Now, under normal circumstances, I would feel some type of way about the situation b/c from the outside looking in, I could be looking like a certified scrag*. However, I'd already had it in my head that Big Sexy was not the right fit for me. Aside from his apparent lack of attention to my needs (I need attention, lots and lots of attention), he had been cutting up in the bar all night- singing all loud and drawing attention to himself. Call it what you want, but I'm the only attention whore allowed in my male/female relationships. Apparent cries for attention is just unsexy in my book, especially from men.

Anywho, when I knew me and my girl were about to head out to the next bar, I wrote my number on a napkin with the full intent on giving it to Sweet Black Pipe on my way out, if he asked. If not, then he too would have blown it with me. So, we gather our things and make our way past him to the door, he stops me and hands me his cell to enter my number. I hand him the napkin and tell him to keep up and make my exit. He texts me two hours later asking if me and my girl were good. I tell him yea and that I'll call him when I got home so that we could sit on the phone and have a drunken convo. (yea, ya girl was fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked up by that point). Of course I get home and immediately pass out. lol

The next morning, I get a text from Sweet Black Pipe asking if I'd like breakfast and that he's a great cook. Still a lil queasy but wanting to see him I say yea and that I'll come to him (Oh yea, I inherited my dad's car. God really has jokes when it comes to me. Like, "Oh, you want a car bitch? Ok.") SMH.

Anyway, I tell him I'd like corned beef hash and eggs and that I'll be there in an hour. I get casual cute and get to his house right on time. While we're eating we interview one another which is when this convo took place:

ME: So...your a plumber?

SBP: (smiling and showing his straight pearly whites) Yes, I lay pipe

ME *blush*: Oh really?

SBP: Yes, Sweet. Black. Pipe.

If he didn't have my interest before that, TRUST he had it from then on. lol

We eat, watch a gory movie on Syfy and I head out. I see him that night at the same bar and we acknowledge each other but don't talk too much. The next morning he texts me asking if I was up and moving stuff yet and if I needed help . ( I had told him that my couch was being delivered and since I'd been sleeping on my bed in the living room and my still-unpacked boxes were taking up the space in my bedroom, I had a lot of moving to do before the delivery men came at 10 with my couch.) I tell him yes and for him to give me about fifteen minutes to "get pretty". He gets there in 20 and does everything by himself and tells me to sit down. Less than ten minutes after he gets everything situated, the delivery guys ring the bell. IDk what I would have done without him considering how hungover I was. lol

Now, if you remember the post before last, I seemed a lil unsure of SBP. Well here's why. I didn't speak to or hear from him for the entire week following that. He'd text me that day (Sunday). But a text I'd sent during the week asking how work was going went unresponded (shut up, it's a word now lol). I spent all week acting like I was auditioning for the sequel to "He's Just Not That Into You"- asking my friends why he didn't call and going over our convos to try to figure out if it was something I said. Then I remembered that Big Sexy had text me "Good morning" on Monday at 6:57am and figured that maybe Sweet Pipe was stepping aside. (never responded to Big Sexy btw . Another strike for him was the times he did text me. A text to a girl you just met b4 12 on a weekday? Who does that???).

That was until Sweet Black Pipe text me on Friday saying it was rainy and asking if I wanted to lay up. I had plans with Obama already so I declined but told him I'd catch up with him Saturday. He tells me he wants me to fry him some chicken and I agree. Saturday he comes with trees and beer in tow and I fry up some chicken and we watch a Lifetime movie. Things get a lil hot and heavy by accident and he ends up getting a taste, but I nip it in the bud before it gets too far and we agree that cuddling is dangerous. lol That night I see him at the bar and he pretty much ignores me as he and Big Sexy play pool. The next afternoon he texts me that "dinner is ready. Let me know when you ready to eat" I tell him 3-ish and he say it'll be best if I come to him. I do and he's hooked up mac n cheese, cabbage and baked turkey chops and steak. We eat and watch the Cavs vs. Celtics game and I get to stepping. Before I leave I say "so I guess I wont be hearing from you this week." to which he replies "It is what it is" and laughs.

That phrase fucks with me b/c I know when I say it, I'm pretty much saying, 'This is how shit is right now, either get down with it or step the fuck off". He'd explained that he works long hours during the week and that's why I don't really hear from him. That's all fine and good, just as long as he knows all of my cookies stay n the jar until he gets a better schedule for me. I NEED ATTENTION DAMMIT. and who work so hard that they can't even send a text AT ALL throughout the week???

Now yes, he has told me that he has "friends" but no significant other, and has been sex-less for almost two months and that he lives alone and I am always welcome to come by. I kinda feel like he's trying to carry me with the whole 'It is what it is" line, but then again, why give me an open invite to his crib and let me know he's damn near always there? IDK. But what I DO know is no drawers shall he get until I get more time. Until then, I'll enjoy my (weekend) personal chef.

BTW: He's about 5"11, very well toned body, chocolate, nice smile, smells good, HUGE arms, doesn't mind watching Lifetime movies, worked as a chef for quite a few years and has been a plumber for the last twenty. Oh yea...and he's 45, but does not look a day over 35.  Plus, he's a ornball, which is good considering I have put myself in Thug Rehab. And apparently has sweet black pipe....

Anyway...what say you regarding this being MIA (M-F) bull and the subsequent "It is what it is" .  Am I missing something here????

* I learned this from my 14 yr old niece a few weeks ago. Apparently, a Scrag (n.) - is one who encompasses all of the characteristics of a jerk, whore, bitch, slut, and genuinely horrible person. Can be either male or female.