And then what had happened was...

As soon as my number was changed, I began to lose my entire mind. I missded he and knowing that he couldn't reach me over the telephone and I couldn't reach him...yea, it was all too much too soon.

I started doubting myself. "Should I have waited just a lil while longer? I mean, I am making the man choose between something he has always known that he wanted for his life and me...something he never planned on taking seriously. I couldn't have waited a whole damn week at least??" But then rational Enigma would kick in, "Shit I ain't ask him to move in, I just asked that he tell me how he feels about me. This nukka want me to be satisfied with only having parts of him and I can't even know how he really feels about me? I mean damn, I can get down with being a sucker for love, but I'll be damned if I'm a sucker for just some peen!" Hmph!

Anywho, both insane and rational Enigma got together and decided to call one of Obama's best friends - a mere two days after changing my number. The call was guised as me asking him about repairs he'd done to my car. I got "T" to call him on her phone on the three-way so that he woudln't have my new number and give it to Obama. To be clear, at that point I really just wanted to know if Obama had tried to call me or not. I still didn't necessarily want him to have my new number or give in without my demand (yes, demand) that he tell me his feelings for me being met. I just wanted to see if he knew my number was changed.

It became apparent one I told his friend who I was that Obama had in fact tried to call. His boy started laughing and was like , "Damn why you change your number on my boy?? You got this nigga walking around like somebody raped his damn dog!!" I told him that I was just trying to make it easier on Obama by removing myself from the situation since he couldn't to which he responded, "Ma, you're not doing him any favors by bouncing on him like that. trust me." I asked him about the brakes that I was told he had done. They were still squeaking and I needed him to take a look at them again. he told me he never did the brake because they didn't need to be done. Remembering the money that I had gave to Obama to get the repairs done, I asked old boy what he had done. When he couldn't tell me, I asked him to check with Obama and have him call back the number I just called him from, ("T"'s).

Well, "T" and I had a falling out as soon as Obama's friend hung up because she wanted me to flip my lid over the money/repairs (or lack thereof). Now, I did raise an eyebrow to dude telling me that the repairs that I had paid for and had been told were done, were NOT. However, I was waiting to hear from Obama to see where the money went and I told "T" as much. She kept saying that Obama had kept it and was trying to play me out, yada, yada, yada. I told her that I'd handed over hundreds to Obama to get things done for me when I couldn't and it had never been a problem before. So, I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and wait to hear from him what happened to the money.

Well, when I told her I'd handed hundreds over to him before, she told me not to say anything else to her about Obama because I was gonna do what I wanted to do anyway. (which is true) But uh...damn...you're supposed to be my "best" friend and your telling me that I can't talk to you about something going on in MY life because you don't agree with how calm I am about it?? I mean, not even because I asked for your advice and did something different, or because I'd been complaining about him taking money for me before, but because I wouldn't just automatically assume that the man who has never failed to look me in my eye and tell me the truth when it mattered most, or who has proven that if I need him, he's there, the man that I told you has always met me 50/50 on everything - something I can"t even say about YOU....I'm just supposed to believe he would steal such a small amount from me and for no damn good reason. Nah. So I ended our conversation with "I can't believe you of all people just told me not to talk to you about something because you don't agree with how I feel about my situation (remember, I never asked her shit about her opinion, nor did I tell her that what she was saying couldn't be true. I simply wanted to hear what this man- whom I loved most for his ability to be honest with me- had to say about the situation.) But I guess I'll talk to you later. (we've spoken twice since then-it's been about 3 weeks-and both convos were extremely awkward).

As much as I want to chalk her reaction up to her just looking out for me, it's really hard to do. She knows more than anyone all that he has done for me. That was the ONE time that anything janky ever came up him (possibly) trying to play me. Annnnd, the amount of money in question (I'd given him $150 to get FOUR things done to the car. The price was a blessing in itself since with parts and labor it would have been much more if it wasn't his boy dong it and if he didn't help him make the repairs) was no where near the amounts he has entrusted me with in the last few months - so why was she tripping?? Especially considering how the dude whose ass she had her head permanently implanted treats her in comparison.  I mean dude is straight up single - no kids no nothing yet he still shows no interest in making time for her. She has to beg him for penis, BEG HIM.... and that's even with her driving across town to pick him up and dropping him off afterwards. And MOST times he has her do all of that and stands her up with no call or nothing. Whic usually results in her blowing his phone up for hours on end unil he finally answers in front of allof his boys just to say some fouls sit to her so they can her it. Plus he's ugly..and broke...and just down-right MEAN to her. He talks to her like she's a whore and she let's him. When I take all of that into consideration, I really rack my brain as to why she'd feel so strongly about Obama. Jeaousy would be the obvious answer, but with my own ups and downs in love i question what sane person would envy my life at this point. But whatever.

Anyway, I'd soon have the answers I was looking for as Obama called me the next night. (I'd called his friend back that afternoon to give him my new number since it was looking like I wouldn't have access to "T""s phone anytime soon)

"Must not have been paying attention..."

...I stepped right on in it, didn't even notice how deep I was..."

Even while it was happening,. I'd chalked my birthday and the days immediately following it up as my birthday present from him. It all just seemed kind of deliberate, as if he'd  maybe started an argument or something with her just so that he wouldn't have to explain his absence for those days, but who knows. We still spoke and saw each other as frequently following those days of my B-Day cupcaking bliss, but with less overnights. This went on for about two weeks before the realization finally hit me: I had definitely fell in love with this man.

Now to say that this shocked me is an understatement. I mean I was actually texting my friends msgs like:

"I LOVE this nigga?!?!? Why the f@*k didn't ya'll hoes tell me?????" 

Now I had been saying it to them for awhile...(that I loved him)...but when I said it, it was more of a that's-the-dude-I-can't-stop-thinking-about-and-would-rather-chill-with-than-any-other-dude kinda way. Not in the I'mma-marry-this-nigga kinda way.

I can pinpoint the EXACT moment that my feelings became clear to me (those on my facebook friend's list can attest to that) and the reason is so simply: he was honest with me. Even though he knew the truth would hurt me and (potentially) jeopardize what ever it is that we have. But he looked me in the eye and told me the truth anyway. That is all I have ever asked of the men that I allow in because it is the one thing that I can guarantee that they will receive from me. I have NEVER experienced my request actually being granted...and without any arm-bending or food -poisoning whatsoever.

Between that and everything else that rocks about him,  I really didn't stand a chance.

The moment I realized how I really felt about him, I told him to hurry up and finish the drink he had been nursing because I needed to tell him something and he needed to be drunk to hear it. ( so dramatic, I know) Somehow we got *ahem* distracted and never got around to me telling him. However, while we were...uh..."ya know"-ing, he stopped mid-stroke, looked me in the eye and said, "You love me don"t you?" Of course, I confessed.

But...he never said it back.

I honestly don't know the EXACT sequence of event from there on. But to the best of my recollection, he and I continued to be ok (for the most part) for maybe another week until all of a sudden I barely saw/heard from him. I think I went about a week and a half with no contact (he STILL had not gotten a phone to replace the one he'd lost months ago. Even after I'd bitched and moaned about it for weeks.) It got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore and told him point blank, "Love me or leave me the fcuk alone!" I told him how it hurt me to, in essence, be in love by myself. Especially seeing as how he had yet to respond to me professing my love to him - AFTER he'd asked me point-blank. I felt like a sucker. An exposed sucker to be exact. I felt like he played me. Like he was just a heart-collecter, and now that he knew I loved him, he knew he could get away with even more bullshit without worrying about losing me.

I told him I needed for him to tbe he one to end contact because, in all honesty, I did not feel as if I was strong enough to be the one to walk away. He told me straight up that I was bugging if I thought he'd really leave me alone. I told him then I would have no choice but to change my number and end all contact with him for awhile. He laughed and said, "So I'm just supposed to not call you?1?" That doesn't even sound right coming out my mouth".

I told him since he was having such a hard time choosing where to be, he should just leave me alone and focus on his family since that was what really was important in all of this. He told me that doing that WOULD be choosing and asked what made me think it would be just that easy for HIM to walk away from ME. That was honestly something I hadn't even considered. I honestly couldn't understand why he seemed so tormented when the solution seemed so clear to me. You want your daughter to have her family. I am not apart of that family. I am the weakest link - goodbye.

I told him it was over. Period. We made love again and I told him it would be the last time. He asked if I would ignore his calls, I told him that I would try my very best to. He said it wouldn't stop him from calling. I asked him for the umpteenthed time to NOT call me and to give me some time. When  he called me the. very. next. day. I answered. We chit-chatted. When it come time for us to hang up, he told me he'd call me the next day. I told him NOT to bother calling me unless it was to give me a day/time when we would meet face-to-face so that he could tell me in great detail, how HE felt about ME. He said ok and that was that.

He did not call the next day. Or the next...or...the...next. I changed my number five days after our last conversation. I felt as if I would go insane less quickly if I could trick my mind into believing that he was trying to call, I'd just changed my number too soon. Instead of what was probably closer to reality: Perhaps I had become too much of a liability as a side- dish. In my head he was laughing with his friends about me and saying thngs like, "Feelings? That is not what this was supposed to turn into. This bitch tryna make me choose?? Nah, I'm out!!"  I mean, if I had a penis, that would probably be what I would do (clearly I'd be just as trifling as a dude) *kanye shrug*

But...as time would tell...that is soooo totally NOT how he felt about me AT AL.

To be continued.... {Sorry Suga. :)}

So much has happened....

But the main part is:

They broke up for good. And in other news...

I'm definitely in love....I know....shocked the shit outta me too. :-/

Fuck!

Anywho, that;s all for now. I'll be back with more when I have a better idea of what the hell is going on right now....cause I honestly have no fucking clue. I've already told him* that we need to talk...and I plan on it being of the "where is this going" persuasion...so we'll see. After much nail biting, I've decided that I shall simply state the following:

"Yea, so....apparently I'm in love with you now.... so please take that into consideration when dealing with me from here on...and if you hurt me, I'll fuckin kill you."

Good, yes? lol

Toodles for now.....

*do I really need to say his name anymore?

Introducing: Egypt

Egypt and I grew up in the same building. Two years my junior, I kind of looked to her as my protege, seeing as how I just knew I was the shit I was the person who showed her that there was a whole life beyond the building that we grew up in.

I was about 12/13 (which made her 10/11) and wanted to make that twenty-block trek to see my "Pookie". "Kat" was on punishment for missing curfew the last time we'd been up there and I was dreading having to go up there by myself. I went downstairs, fully prepare to suck it up and go lone when I saw young Egypt sitting in the lobby. I swear it was like a lightbulb had went of in my head. I was suddenly seeing this girl in a whole new light. She was a cute kid and I knew she was smart since her mom had me tutor her a few months prior. I figured she'd go up there and fit right in with the guys. I asked her if she wanted to come with me to see my boyfriend and she agreed. I suggested she go upstairs and get fresh (couldn't roll up there with no bum chick lol) and then we were off.

That was it. That was all I did.**

Because I was such a good kid, Egypt's mom had no problem with us being friends and Egypt soon became part of my "crew". Most of the time we were walking to see "Pookie" and his friends, but we spent just as much time holed up in one of our apartments blasting music and eating each others' parents out of house and home.

One day, "Kat", Egypt, myself and another snake-eyed bitch crew member* were chilling at my house. "Kat" and I decided we wanted to go to the store for snacks but Egypt and the snake-eyed bitch other chick didn't feel like coming, so me and Kat left them in my room watching tv. When we got back, my mom stopped us before we got to my room and said she wanted to talk to us. We all sit at the table and my mom goes into the spiel about us being at the age of experimenting, yada, yada, yada. Me and 'Kat" look at each other, laugh and ask my mom what she's talking about. My mom then tells us that she went into my room, not realizing that Egypt and the snake-eyed bitch other chick was still there and walked ino the two of them in my bed going at it like lovers. Me and "Kat" went from being shocked to straight up appalled when my mom then asked if "Kat" and I liked girls too. I think our genuine "wtf" expressions were enough to convince her as she dismissed us with a warning to watch the other two and make sure they didn't try to get us to do anything "strange" lol

"Kat" and I continued to be friends with them, but kind of at a distance. Around the same time, "Kat" and Egypt started to befriend another girl in our building, "T". 'T" and I had been play partners when we were like 6/7 but hadn't really spent much time as we got older because she went to a different elementry school than the rest of us.

One day the three of us: Egypt, "T" and I were supposed to go out and Egypt's mother was tripping saying she couldn't come out. Typical on-the-move teenagers, "T" and I chalked dueces and told Egypt we'd catch her on the flip side and proceeded to the mall. When we got back, we went to my house and listened to music. That pretty much solidified she and I as friends. Her mom was damn near never home, which gave her as much freedom as I had and she was my age, so I didn't have to contantly be concerned as to whether or not I was "turning her out". lol In turn, I had all the hot shit at my house as far as music, movies, etc. My room was a teenage girl's dream. I had even transform the floor of my closet into a "phone booth" with huge pillows. Needless to say, our friendship worked out perfectly. lol

That was eight grade, when I was 13.

A few things happened in the years following that, Egypt and her mom moved to a different part of the city, "Kat" and I stopped speaking, " I lost "Pookie", "Kat" and I fought (the day before my eight grade graduation), "Kat" and her mom moved to North Carolina, I started high school at a private school (sans crew for the first time), I started dating my high school sweetheart, AND my favorite sister moved back home and had a baby for me to flood with kisses.

Somehow when the dust cleared from all of those events, Egypt and I were no longer as close as we used to be. In fact, I barely saw her since most of my after-school time went to my boyfriend and newborn niece and the free time I did have for "girl-talk" was spent with "T" who still lived in my building and went to a cooler school than mine with a football team. (my school was a brain school- no footbal team and our girls' bb team was waaaay better than the guys. lol). Egypt and I never had a falling out or anything, I just kind moved on. I was at the new school meeting all of these new people, and she was still in grammar school trying to finish up seventh grade. *shrugs*.

I know it may sound heartless, but , in my defense, I didn't really see any of my friends, and not for nothing, Egypt didn't exactly reach out to me either. Plus, I know she wasn't totally alone. While I was boo'd up, "T" and a new crew member, Q would go to Egypt's house all of the time.

Oh no, wait. I lied. Egypt did reach out to me during my junior (her freshman) year in high school. My HS Sweetheart and I had just gone thru a whole ordeal with him telling me he'd made a mistake that resulted with a baby that could possibly be his. As we waited the three weeks for the test to confirm or deny, I got a call from Egypt out of the blue.

ME: Hello? *confused at this random as number on my caller id*

Egypt *in her new-found-i'm-finally-in-high school-chicken-head voice*: Enigmaaaaa! You know "HS Sweetie" got a baaaabyyyy?

ME: Hi Egypt., long time no hear. No, we don't know that- we're still waiting on the test-

Egypt *cutting me off*: Uh huuuuh. I'm holding her right now. Oh my gaaaaaaaawd!!!!! She looks just like HS. Sweetie***!

Me: Wow. *hangs up*

So yea, that's when I first realized that despite out years as BFF's, I could no longer look at Egypt as a certified friend nor assume that she would ever have my best interest in mind. I would have never done it that way- especially not from the chick's house. But that's just me.

Unfortunately, that was not the last time I would have to side-eye one of her moves or question  her motives.

To be continued....

* Remember the "friend" I had call "Pookie"? Yea, that was that bitch....

**Remember this as it will come up later.

***No, the baby was not his and we stayed together until the day of my graduation and broke-up for other reasons. Perhaps I'll blog about that one day....

Fin.

So "The Killer" and I are done. I saw him yesterday and he lied to me about something really minor. I'm old enough and wise enough to know that when dudes lie about minor shit, it's usually to cover up major shit. I don't have the time, energy or patience.

Him lying in conjunction with how "us" have been lately ...yea, I'm deciding to throw in the towel now- when I'm confident I can do so without breaking down from it. I can get over him quick right now because shit's been off for a few weeks anyway and I've been putting the ice blocks around my heart(that he'd melted) back up slowly since it started mentally preparing to have to get over him. The fortress is almost fully rebuilt, my friends, let us rejoice and be glad in it.

There's no doubt in my mind that there's someone else, and I'm not sitting around while he plays us both. Nope, she wins the loser, not I. What was the lie you ask? He popped up with a new car out of nowhere...then proceeded to wash and wax that bitch with me sitting in it. One thing "The Killer" is definitely not is anyone's stunt dummy so I knew it wasn't "his boy's" as he had told me the night before when he'd said he'd come get me and I declined. I asked him who's car it was this time (assuming it was the same car from the night before, "his boys'" and he instead said it was a rental. Ummm....rental car keys don't usually have price cards for Stop and Shop and Shoprite on the keyring. Fuck I look like believing that bullshit??? Further investigation revealed a registration with a chick's name on it. A name that I'd heard in passing before while he and I were on the phone and one of his nephews asked him where Prada (his dog) was. He responded at "N***'s house". I ignored it then because N*** could have been a number of females in his family. And, to be all the way real , he was never my man, nr I his girl and if we started sharing stories of how many other people we were dealing with besides each other, I'm sure my numbers would have matched his. *kanye shrug* Hey, we were never a couple.

But if that was the case, and N*** was a family member (as I'd assumed originally), why blatantly lie to my face??? So after I see the registration, I ask him how long he's had the "rental" he tells me a few days and he and his brother have been sharing it...and he has it until Tuesday or Wednesday....oh so you just gonna keep on lying right to my face, huh? Ok, cool.

I let him know that I wasn't buying it and he tried to flip shit and get mad on some "If it was some chick car I'd just tell you blah blah bah." Whoa...who said anything about a chick? lol Dude, please stop trying to convince yourself that you're "that Dude". You know, the guy that will tell chicks shit straight up because he knows he's doing shit on the up and up and he's not trying to play with any one's feelings. You. Are. Not. Him. You are a snake. Period.

I can't be with someone that can look me dead in my eye and lie to me. Crazy thing is, it's not the being lied to part that fucks with me as much as it the insulting my intelligence part. Don't do that. Two things I've never been called in my entire life is stupid and ugly. Please don't take my intelligence for granted and please don't have me waste my pretty on you. I'm done letting "The Killer" do both.

On to the next one.

Sorry boys, the bitch is back.

Coming up...."Introducing "Victim #1" aka "Enigma's New Boytoy"...yea....

"Better than love, we made delicious"*

So TK and I had a chance to reconnect for a few hours last night. As I stated before, there's been a serious lull in our situationship** for the past month or so. I've seen him very rarely and we speak less often. (all his fault...not to point fingers or place blame or anything, but yea...definitely all his fault.) Luckily, I'd say in the last week or so our communication has gotten back on track to being like it was initially, but there are still some kinks to be worked out.

Anwho, we met up last night after he insisted that we "had to bring some things to the table". Ok, cool. Honestly I was thinking this would be the..."Things just haven't been the same/I met someone else/I'm not ready for all of this" convo. Oh, quite the contrary, this dude hit me with the "What are your intentions towards me" line. And was serious. As if I was the one who had been bs-9ng for the past few weeks. Smch. Now, like I said, our recent disconnect has been ALL his fault (again, not to point fingers or anything), so that was the very last thing I was expecting to hear.

So he goes on to tell me how he's tired of being a whore (actually he used the words "young bachelor" but I called bullshit on that and demanded he call it what it was). So he goes on to tell me how even though he flirts and likes the attention that his lifestyle brings him, he hasn't been sleeping with anyone else and he's feeling like he's ready for more. He also tells me how his last girlfriend was a good woman and he f*cked that up and he's not prepared to push another good woman (moi) out of his life. No decisions were made, but we discussed alot and will have part 2 to the discussion later on tonite.

The purpose of this blog (and title and pic) actually have to do with something that TK bought up in our talk. He said he started to know that there was something "there" with us after the second or third time we ever had sex. It was honestly the craziest thing I'd ever experienced myself as well.

It was about a month into us chilling with one another and we were going at it heavy. The lights were off, the radio was playing Ne-Yo's version of MJ's "Lady in My Life" and TK was killing it (pun intended) About ten minutes in, something changed drastically. We were no longer just two people who had met just a month or so ago who were gratifying their animalistic urges. As if someone had flipped a switch, we went from just having sex, to making passionate love.

Now, the crazy thing is...I felt the change immediately and I remember thinking "OMG...I wonder if he knows that he's making love to me". We finished and got our selves cleaned up and were just laying in the after glow (that's the name of the painting up top btw) . He started talking about something...what, I can't remember. But as he was talking I grabbed my cell and sent him a text that read, "I felt you making love to me." A few second later his cell rang and he read my text, smiled, looked me in the eye and said "Indeed, true***".

He then went on to tell me that he'd NEVER made love, or even attempted to make love to a woman before and that the fact that I felt it was crazy to him.

When we talked about it last night, I let him know that that had never happened to me either. I'd never felt anyone make love to me. What I didn't tell him was the follow-up to that. Now, I've been in many relationships where the word "love" was thrown around extensively. And yes, all of these "loving" relationships included sex. But even when my partner would tell me he loved me as we were entwined, I still didn't feel it like I did with TK. The "making love" aspect was more so implied with them moreso than anything else. But with TK, it was so blatant and evident and unexpected and welcomed that I'd even go so far as to admit that it almost made me misty eyed. (I say almost b/c I hate girls that cry during sex and I would never.)

I thought about it last night as I lay in my bed and I concluded that the men I'd been "in love" with never gave me themselves whole-heartedly. (I say this mostly because of specific circumstances of the relationships/men themselves, not just b/c of what I experienced with TK) Anyway, I've deduced that what TK and I experienced that night was possible solely because he opened up to me. Even if for that 15-20 minute time span, I had him (and he me had, had me he..he had me tongue-tied****) I had him in a way that no other woman ever has and he made me experience something no other man ever has.

Either God's tryna tell me sumthin' or He's just d*cking with me for kicks and giggles...I guess we'll see...

*For those who don't know, that's a verse from my favoritiest song ever, "Love Rain" by Jill Scott.

** I saw a commenter on one of Suga's posts use that to describe a situationship where it's like a relationship but sans the actual commitment.

***He says that alot lol

**** Another verse from Love Rain, seriously, that song is the ish ppl

A Teenage Love Affair (The End)

In no time at all "Pookie" and I had ditched our significant others and were back on track and together. This time things were different. In our short time apart, I had changed, and because of that, we changed. For starters, I stopped bringing an entourage with me to visit and he stopped having his crew there when I arrived. We were spending way more time alone with one another, a privilege we had not been afforded often when we were together prior. We also began to spend more time on the phone. I guess you can say our love affair matured.

We spent the next nine months or so as a certified couple. We still hadn't had sex and it seemed like a non-issue. There was one time when we'd set up a day/time to make it happen, but I got held up doing family stuff and by the time I got there his house was crowded. Amazingly we never rescheduled. I said before that I never knew of him having a girl brsides me and this time around was no different. I would come up at random times and he'd always be where he was supposed to be, doing what he was supposed to do. There was never an instance that I can remember of another girl calling my phone or anything and he never seemed to be hiding me, nor did he ever tell me that I couldn't come up there.

This new "grown-up" relationship that we had also ment that I was forced to meet the rest of his family that he stayed with (besides Moonie). This included his female cousin, Dawn. Dawn was Moonie's sister and maybe just a year younger than he was. For some reason, she never really took to me. I used to joke with my friends that she treated me like she was jealous that I got "Pookie" and she was stuck just being his cousin. Looking back, I think perhaps Dominique was her friend and this is what led to her nastiness...? IDK and there's no way for me to find out now, so...fuck it.

Anywho, Dawn never outright came out and said she didn't like me, she would just do things like tell me he wasn't there (when he was) when I called for him. This would usually lead to him calling me back two seconds later asking if I'd just called there for him. Or she'd have a million things she needed "Pookie" to do while I was there, thereby making it impossible for us to be alone.

I tried not to let her shit get too me too much and eventually found ways to avoid her all together. I noticed that if I called and asked for "Moonie" first, she'd just give him the phone with no problem, I'd then have him give "Pookie" the phone. Of the drama of a teenage life... smh

About eight months after we'd gotten back together something in "us" changed to where I felt like I needed to "test" him. Looking back, it doesn't make sense to me, and I want to chalk it up to being young and dumb. I'll have to look at my early volumes of diaries to try to recall what happened to make me feel that I could no longer trust him. But in any case, like I said, I felt like his devotion to me needed to be tested. So, me being a dummy, had one of my friends call him and act like she liked him. She used a fake name and pretended to know him thru a friend that messed with a friend of his. Needless to say, the situation got way out of control. The girl that I'd gotten to call him turned out to be a snake and stole his number without my knowledge and would call him behind my back. This of course took a toll on our relationship because he never mentioned his "mystery caller" to me, so he got the perpatual side eye from me from then on. Now, I knew that he'd never met up with her or anything, but still...(according to her they were talking on a regular basis and never once did he mention that he had a girlfriend.)

Around the same time, I started spending more time with a guy from my class. We were only friends (he was like 5'2, about 75 lbs soaking wet and with rocks in his pocket and his breath smelled like ass--so trust-nothing at all was popping with him). Anywho, I never made it a point to hide my friendship with this guy from "Pookie"" as there was no need to. "Pookie" didn't agree and he'd catch an attitude anytime I mentioned that I'd stayed after school with the guy or went to the mall with him or anything.

One night "Pookie" had called me. He'd said that he was headed back outside to play dice, but wanted to call me before it had gotten too late. Somehow we started arguing. I remember it as the worst argument we'd ever had, but that could just be because...

Like I said, we started arguing. I now think that maybe 'Pookie" took his guilt over talking to his "mystery caller" behind my back and tried to project that on me and blamed his new attitude on the time I was spending with my guy friend. Anywho, we argued. The only thing I remember about the specifics of the argument was when "Pookie" said "Well, I know when you can start spending more time with him...when I hang up."

He hung up, and that was the last time I ever spoke to him.

One thing I remember from the next day was me sitting in my living room looking at the fish tank and being angry that he'd never called me the night before to apologize. I had named one of the fish after him and at that moment I was so hurt and angry that I wished the fish would die. Somehow in my 13 year old mind, seeing that fish dead would make me feel better.

That night I called his house and Dawn answered the phone. When I asked to speak to him, she said ""Ricky died last night". I hung up disgusted that she would go so far with her games and just figured I'd speak to him the following day.

The next morning, I stopped at the diner across the street from my school to get a toasted bagel with cream cheese and jelly. While I was there I also bought the local paper. There on the very first page was a story entitled. "Killed over $5 He Didn't Scam". I read the article as I walked up the block to the school's entrance. As I got closer, my partner-in-crime at the time was walking towards me. I watched as her face went from happy to worried to panicked as she watched me drop the paper and start crying hysterically. She helped me into the school as she yelled for one of our other friend's to get our (8th grade) teacher.

Ricky Bradlee (my "Pookie") was shot and killed within an hour after he'd hung up on me.

Introducing: "Pookie" (A Teenage Love affair) Pt. Deux

I would like to re-write history and say that it took me a long time to get over "Pookie", but that just wouldn't be right. In reality, more so than any other emotion, I can vividly recall the extreme anger I felt. I think the main reason for me not being sad per se was because he was honest with me. In fact, sad as it is, I think he was THE ONLY man to ever be straight up with me and tell me to my face that he was leaving me for another woman. All of the others lied until I caught them with their dick in the cookie jar. I still had my in-school boo and I adjusted to not walking those 20 blocks much sooner than I even thought I would. I think the hardest part was knowing that Kat was still going up there and trying to find things to occupy my time while she was gone. (because I REFUSED to go back up there and risk seeing him.)

A few months went by and in that time I met a new dude. He wasn't that cute and he was dumber than a box of marbles, but he had a car, and I had places to go, so we worked out well. I didn't feel bad for using him for his whip because I knew that he was only trying to use me for sex. I held him off for as long as I could until the little girl lost in me said 'What the fuck is the point of holding out???' so I slept with him, it sucked and I didn't do it again. It seemed like after I realized the dick was trash, not even his shiny white car could keep my attention focused on him anymore. I started plotting how I'd break up with him and end our 2 month "relationship".

As if on cue, I received a call out of the blue from "Pookie" on day. He said that he had badgered Kat for my number because he missed me so much and wanted to get back together. When I questioned him about Dominique, he said that she was in NY staying with relatives for the summer and that she "knew what time it was" and wasn't returning any of his calls because she knew he was ready to break up with her.

Uh oh.... five o'clock... you know what that means... *pshooooooom*

To be continued....

Introducing: "Pookie" (A Teenage Love affair)

When I was in the seventh grade, my best friend at the time. "Kat" (who was two yrs my senior) had just gotten re-acquainted with her estranged dad and discovered that she had an older sister that lived in the same city as us. Let me say here that I was about 4 months shy of turning 13 around this time. I had lost both my virginity and my dad within the previous year, just months apart (another story for another day) I hadn't had sex since my first time, but that didn't stop me from being a boy crazy, hot-tailed little girl. I'm the baby of the family and was a fairly good kid. My older sisters were all out on their own and doing their own thing and my mom saw this as her opportunity to take a rest since I required minimal guidance (or so it appeared). I was living the good life- my sister made sure I stayed fresh, had spending money in my pocket and saw the latest movies and my mom made sure my room was fully equipped and the envy of my less-fortunate friends. As long as my grades stayed above average and i made curfew (which I didn't always manage to do), my mom gave me little to no boundaries.

Anywho, Kat and Oldersister developed a relationship and before long "Kat" and I were taking the approximately 20 block walk from our hood to visit "Kat's" older sister. At first it was just because we didn't have anything else to do and we knew that Kat's older sister would entertain us with stories of her live-in boyfriend and his crazy as friends. But, after a few weeks of us taking that daily trek after school and on weekends, we discovered an even better reason to make that block our second home...those crazy ass friends!!!. When I tell you that group was a preteen, boy-crazy girl's dream, I tell you all no lie. There were about six of them total and they were fione in their own right.

Live-In (about 26)- This was older sister's boyfriend and babydaddy. He was a cutie, but obviously off limits and a real family man, so we didn't see him much so we'll by right pass him to his little brother...

GreenEyes (about 17-18) - GreenEyes was Live-In's younger brother that lived right next door with the rest of Live-In's family. There family rolled deep... I think they had about 6 younger siblings, all extremely light and all with those green eyes. GreenEyes was probably the finest out of the whole crazy ass crew but that nigga was nuts. He once threw one of our friends down a flight of stairs for no reason at all, and tried to push my off of the side of a porch one day. (I was saved by his best friend and my boo, but still, he tried!!!). I quickly learned to stay clear of him an my boo let it be known that I was off limits as far as his antics.

Pookie *this was my actual pet name for him at the time* (about 18-19)- He was GreenEyes' best friend and lived in the apartment right next to Oldersister and Live-In. He was brown skin, about 6ft and had the sexiest, juiciest lips my 12 year old eyes had ever seen. He was more laid back than the rest of the crew and that intrigued me. It was not unusual for him to sit on the porch and shake his head as his friends showed their asses all up and down the block. You could tell that he was more mature than the rest of them and that probably had alot to do with the things he'd been thru in his young life. a life I didn't know much about save the knowledge that he was living with his Aunt and cousins because he'd "gotten in trouble". On maybe my second or third trip up to the block with Kat, he let the others know that he had his eye on me and made it his mission to make me his. It didn't take long for him to succeed.

Mooney (about 16-17)- He was Pookie's cousin and the silly one of the bunch, probably b/c he was the youngest. Mooney looked like his dad was Native American or something, his skin was a beautiful red tinted brown and he had the softest curliest jet black hair I had every seen on a black man. If he was around then we knew it wouldn't be long before our stomachs and cheeks were hurting from laughing so much. He and "Kat" soon developed a romance.

Black (about 21-22??)- Black was the OG of the group and in my personal opinion the cutest. He didn't even live on the block anymore, but came around every once in awhile just to remind folks that it was still his hood. lol Whenever he came thru, he and Mooney would keep us in stitches

There were a few others that dwindled in and out, but that was the core group of guys that Kat and I had in mind as we walk those 20 or so blocks every day. For the most part it was just the two of us going up there, but we had a few other girlfriends who would join us every now and then hoping to snag an older boo of their own.

Pookie and I developed a "relationship" that lasted about 4 months before things fell apart. I put the word relationship in quotes because it really only consisted of me going up there daily to see him and us hugging and laughing and kissing and chilling for a few hours each day. If I didn't go up there, I didn't see him. We didn't talk on the phone and there was no way his old ass was coming near my hood where an adult might catch wind of our torrid love affair. Plus, I had my in-school boo and I'm almost positive that he had other chicks too. . . especially since he and I never had sex and he never made it much of an issue.

Everything was fine until I walked up there by myself to see him one day and he invited me into the house. This in itself was weird as usually we spent out time together in the park down the street because his house was always crowded. Anywho, I go into the bedroom and there's a girl sitting on his bed. He tells me to have a seat and proceeds to tell me that the girl is Dominique, his new girlfriend. He said she was "there for him" and that he was sorry, yada, yada, yada. I storm out and he follows me to the front door. He tries to stop me from leaving so that he can apologize. He tells me he didn't mean to hurt me. I ask him "How long?". He tells me "About two weeks". I roll my eyes and punch his chest. I had just seen him two days ago and he was all over me, telling me how much he cared. I say "Well I'm sure you could have did something besides hugging and kissing all over me" and I leave out, slamming the door behind me.

Little did I know that that would not be my last time seeing him...nor would it be my last time losing him...

To be continued....

Introducing: "The Killer" (TK)

It is I folks, back and ready to spill some serious tea. First and foremost, thanks to everyone who responded to my last blog regarding the situation with my sister. After that email, she sent yet another where she took the situation WAY too far. I emailed her back privately and let her know that she'd won whatever war she was waging against me because I refuse to get that grimy with my own flesh and blood. She then apologized, but I didn't respond. I just don't see me getting over what she wrote and I'm ok with it. I haven't given it a second thought really. But she will be missed....

*dusts shoulders off*

Moving on...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------


I have a new boo.

*waits as the thunderous applause dies down from the crowd*

I met him a few weeks ago while out lunching with my ladies (read drinking with my homies). I must say, it was my most drunkenness moment of the entire summer. I had seen dude around our local haven of hedonism about two weekends in a row. My partner-in-crime knows him and would chit chat with him whenever we came out for air. (He always seemed to be outside). Anywho, this night in particular, I had already had 1 or 3 too many (yes, BEFORE we even hit the bar. Don't judge me. My Bday is in August and I GO HARD all month....even tho this was still JULY... but don't. judge.me!! lol). My girl had one of my hands and was leading me into the bar...(yes, i already needed an escort)... and we passed him. For some reason it was like I'd seen him for the very first time and I yelled "OOH HE'S CA-YUTE!!". Dumb loud and ghetto as all shit- totally out of my character. So loud that he heard me, locked eyes with me, then smiled and winked as my homie continued to pull me towards the bar. As this happened, my other homegirl who had been ahead of us heard me and said "Yea, and he has a BIG one."" I then turned back to him and said right in his face, "HE DOES?!?!?!?!?". Again, DUMB LOUD. SMH

*hangs head in shame while trying not to giggle*

So we go in, have some drinks and then come out for air. He sees me and comes over and kicks it with us and then he and I walk off and have a convo. Not sure what we talked about because I was already so gone, but I do remember him asking for and receiving my number.

Fast forward a few days and he calls to see if I'll be coming out, I decline. I knew I wanted him as my new booty call, but not so soon. Plus, according to my homie, he's a whore, so I really wasn't interested as much in the light of day as I had been that (drunken) night.

A few more days go by and he calls again. This time I accept his offer to come out for drinks and meet him at the local haven of hedonism for some shots. I had expected that the night would end with me bent over his couch instead it ended with us taking a long walk in the park, holding hands and talking about EVERYthing. At one point I told him to stop looking at me a certain way (all lovey dovey) and he asked why. I told him he was confusing me. he asked how so. I said "Because initially, I just wanted a new buck fuddy, but now I actually want to hear the thing you have to say". To which he replied that we'd both come into it with the same intentions, but that he too was (pleasantly) surprised by how things turned out and wanted to see where it would go.

I've spoken to and/or seen him everyday since.

All is not good in the hood tho, because even though the vibe is definitely there and our blossoming feelings are definitely mutual, there is SOOOO much shit with him.

For starters, he is the sole reason why I am no long a "recovering" thug addict and have officially fallen off the wagon. It's like I went into rehab for weed, came out cured just to start a heroin addiction. SMH Dude is a thug indeed, he even has the tat across his abs a'la Tupac (whom he favors heavily)

Besides being a certified cutie, he is incredibly attentive to my needs. All I have to do is think it and he's already doing it. If I think, "I am so fucking thirsty!!!", I look up and he's handing me a cool refreshing beverage. At first I thought it was a fluke, but he has yet to NOT do this.

Also, he takes care of me. Not monetarily speaking necessarily, but in general. He makes sure I'm ok. I can go as far as to say that if I was stranded on a deserted island with him, I would break a sweat because I'd know he'd make sure I survived and was ok. He gives me an overwhelming sense of security that I have NEVER had before in ANY relationship (friends, family and lovers)

In fact, if I am to go by Dr. Steve Harvey's ...huh? what's that you say? Steve Harvey ISN"T a doctor??? Oh, well, if I go by what Steve says about the 3 P's of a man's love. Dude is on point.

He professes: He sees me in his future. There's no doubt about this as he tells me constantly. There was even an instance where he was telling his dude how I had him thrown. And I quote " I'm thinking she's the truth, my dude, she could . She's keeping me out of trouble because I'd rather be in here chilling with her than in the streets. And even when i am out there, I'm busy thinking about shorty and what she doing." Plus, it doesn't hurt that I've met his mom (who made it a point to tell me how major that alone is, as well as a couple of his sisters and brothers (his family is HUGE) and he even trusted me to look after one of his beloved dogs.

He protects: Let's just say Lucifer will watch how he speaks to me on the phone form now on, solely do to new dude.

He provides: He has made it quite clear that if I need it, he's got it, and he's more than willing to share it. I've yet to accept, but I know the offer is there.


But, I must admit, iPause at the fact that out relationship has already gone beyond just sex as was my initial intentions. I've given two of my girlfriends the contingency plan for when it all falls down with him: One is to drink with me until I can't even muster the energy to say "when", and the other will rub my hair as I lay on her lap and cry my heart out. I've already fallen too far, too soon and I feel like I have no control over slowing it down. And honestly, I don't want to slow it down. I want to just "coast with it" and hope it comes out ok.

But, his lifestyle....he's almost too much thug for me....

Plus, he and I have a connection that we discovered about 3 weeks ago. I'm not ready to say what it is, but I will say that he has had a direct affect on my life from my teens to adulthood, as well as how I have behaved with every boyfriend I have had since i was 13. Ironically enough, he is the reason why iPause at dealing with him due to his lifestyle because of things I've experience in my past (due to him) that I don't want to experience again.

I had to make a decision as to whether I would deal with him at all because of our connection. Clearly, i decided to continue our love affair, but I made a deal with myself that I would only do so if I thought we had a future together. I can't have a superficial relationship with him. iCan't. So, we have decided to ride it out, and give our all.

*sigh*

Yet another factor, he told me that his sister has a house in Hawaii that she wants him to come and look after. He told her that he would have an answer by the end of the summer. About a week after we met, he told me about it and said he would love to be able to bring a lady with him and wondered if i would come if we had progressed by then. Amazingly, I didn't hesitate before I said "Yes". (huh?) Yea. Well, summer is almost over. He hasn't decided if he's going or not, but he made it clear that wherever he goes, I have an invite and a ticket to join him. I told him I'd go with him to Hawaii if he gave me an open-ended return ticket home. He agreed and asked about my son and would it be a problem for me to bring him with us (my son is with his dad for the next school year) I said I wouldn't bring my son initially, but that I'd send for him when I felt we as a couple were stable enough. (Did I mention that he has already met my son? I showed him a pic and he insisted that he'd seen him before. Since my baby has always been only with me or family, I narrowed it down to his Great Aunt's house who used to babysit. Apparently new dude used to date the great aunt's daughter a few years back and remembers my son being there when he visited. Knew his name and everything without me telling him and said, "That's a cool ass kid you got there" )

*swoons/sighs*

We'll see where this goes...


BTW... his name, for blog purposes, is The Killer (TK)...I have my reasons...

An Open Letter to "Mr. Big"

I had the unexpected pleasure of seeing a picture of Her today and, all hating aside, I am not impressed. I can see what it was that drew you to her though (didn’t we always joke about how you love the chickens?) lol From her blunt-blackened lips to her bra-less, saggy breasts, to the blotches on her exposed "cleavage" that heavily resemble smudges of newspaper ink {wash much, bitch? I keed lol} she is all that you desire and more (the rooster haircut was more than even I had bargained for). Being able to put a face to all of the many . . . interesting . . .things you’ve already told me about her has opened my eyes quite a bit.

As much as I hate to play prophet (though a facebook quiz I recently took confirmed that prophesy is my calling) I can see your future clearly. In another year or so, Her will be pregnant with your child (well, this won’t actually be able to be confirmed until the DNA test results are in, but let’s hope for the best, mmkay?) and two years from now you’ll be racking your brain trying to figure out how you got yet another Bonequisha-esque, hoodrat chick pregnant. You’ll be at home with all of your little “chicken nuggets” while Her is out at the club dropping it like it’s hot right next to your first babymom’s (whom I affectionately have dubbed “Chicken Hut”)

Now I understand why you and I could not be. Despite your claims that Chicken Hut’s hoodrat ways came as a shock to you (even tho in the every next breath you told me how she was 14yrs. old drinking 40’s when you met her), I can now see that that is what you like. It’s ok, really. As much as they enjoy it, not every man can handle a real woman. Some men need their woman to be out in the clubs every night, neglecting their kids, flirting with their best friends and taking days off from work so that the can get high. I now understand why our deep discussions on everything from the best rapper dead or alive to gentrification to the state of the black family or our mutual interests in the works of W.E.B Dubois, Karl Marx and Herbert Spencer or us being able to go from homies to lovers to confidants to (respectful) debating opponents was not enough for me to preserve your affections. I can now see why despite my ability to “ride” for you (without you even being my man for most of our time knowing each other) and notwithstanding the fact that my strength was something you have always complimented me on (along with my mothering skills, cooking abilities and oral techniques . . . but I digress). As I was saying, in spite of the fact that you labeled me “The BEST, hands down” in my sexual abilities, today I can clearly see why it was Her that you chose and not I . . . .


You sir, are a pussy.

An Open Letter to "Lucifer (a.k.a. my son's sperm donor)

Dear Lucifer,

I hate you so much. You are the scum between my toes.

I hope all the bad things in the world happen to you and only you.

Please die.

Signed,


Enigma Jones

Introducing: "Ex-fiance"

*Written for Myspace on 4/18/08*
***************************************

I'm a snitch.

I am.

I'm the youngest of four daughters, hell, for the first few years of my life, snitching was my only source of income. One of my sisters' boyfriends had a nosy ass moms who used to pay me for dirt on them, And me, being the eager entrepreneur, provided her with all the dirt she could shovel. That is, until my sister got a job. Sorry Mrs. B, but inflation's a bitch and she was talking big dollars plus candy. So, I switched teams and began getting paid not to snitch.

Some things never change.

Here I am, damn near 10 years later and I'm still getting paid not to break up happy homes (Read: tell on niggas.)

SMH

Fucked up part is, I don't play fair. I never have. But I make it a point to let muthafuckers know this from the door, "I tell, nigga!!!". And I'm picky about what I tell. My thug addiction has left me open to witness first-hand some things that are just wrong, immoral and yes, got damned illegal. But I don't tell on my boos.

But my neighbor, the one with the dog that he neglects and that I adopted and that was barking in the back yard all night for three fucking days straight? Yes, that nigga got the cops called him. Those little bad ass crooks-in-training who thought they could steal a car and hide out on my block like my neighbors and I wouldn't think four 12-yr-old, rusty-nail smelling bastids driving around in a Honda wasn't odd. Yep, dialed the cops from my cell as I stood in front of one of them giving him the death stare that I'm famous for. "Lucifer" who thought he could move to another state and start a new family while being thousands of dollars in arrears with child support and then send my baby a post card saying "Hey". Yep, took that return address and went straight to child support with it. And lastly, guys who know that I know that they have a girl/wife/baby momma that they shack up with and yet still insist on being up in my face. .. yep, I tells on them too!

But, as I stated before, I don't play fair. So yes, I'll entertain them and take what ever they give and let them try their best to wine and dine my panties off, all the while believing that I will be the down ass side chick who's just cool with them going home to someone else at night.

Until I get bored and/or she calls me.

Then, it's fair game. I'm telling 'errthing. Fuck I gots to lie for? Especially if my only real crime is taking advantage of the kindness of strangers stupidity of cheaters?
My ex-fiancé {he is only called this because he bought a ring and proposed. We never had an actual engagement and you'll see why in about 5 seconds}, a man who left me for another chick, proposed while he was still with said chick, (priceless!) and continued to call and profess his undying love for me even after the two of them moved in together, produced a child and all that other ghetto love crap, learned of my snitch status the hard way.

Recently, after about a year or so of us not speaking or seeing each other at all., he resurfaced. Since my Mr. is currently unavailable (I put that as a link so that you lazy bastards who have yet to request and subscribe to my other page can do so now and get the full story). I entertained the ex-fiance when he called a few weeks ago. He called out of the blue one night and rather than cutting him up the entire time like I usually do, I took a different route.When he went throught the "How's my lil' man doing?" crap that he usually does ( I shouldn't really call it crap though seeing as how he was with me when TLC2 was born and for the first two years of his life and has been more of a father financially to TLC2 than "Lucifer" even after we split, but I digress)

Anywho, when he started asking about TLC2, I played the "Lord what is I gon' do?" card and started bitching about tuition and T-ball fess and uniforms, rada, rada, rada. 3 days later, tuition paid.

Now, his girl friend and I have the same relationship any 2 females in our situation would have. In the beginning, I hated her for being a home-wrecking skank whore and she pitied/hated me for being the bitch her man kept running back or, as he his version went, the "crazy ex who couldn't let go". Then, as I began to get him out my system, I hated her for being a clueless skank whore who couldn't keep her man on his leash and she hated me for being the bitch her man kept running back to. Now, I'm amused by her for being a dumb, enabling skant whore who still can't keep her man on his leash but now is worse because she has to know that he really ain't shit but she's so afraid of losing that second income that she plays dumb like she don't know he's still a whore and couldn't possibly give a fuck about anyone but himself and his daughter and who is getting exactly what she deserves because she should have listened when ppl said "the way you get him is the way you lose him". And, in return she hates me for being the bitch her man keeps running back to who really doesn't even want him anymore but is willing to take his money and make him pay for being the sole reason that the winter of "03 is but a blur of tears and Tylenol pm.

So, long story short. She called me.

Her: Who dis'?

Me (laughing a hearty laugh and knowing exactly who it is since I'm with "Rocky" and I know it bet not be a bitch about him because I will gut a bitch like a fish if it is): Umm. . . Tasha, I think you have the wrong number.

Her: What? Who the fuck is this and how you know me?

Me: It's me Tasha. It's always me. No matter what you do . . . he just insists on keeping in contact with me. I tried to tell you. . .

Her: I know this is not no fucking "Enigma".

Me: The one and only. Now, what can I do for you?

Her: Just tell me if ya'll fucking.

Me (laughing): Oh no, we're definitely not fucking.

Her: So why the fuck is he calling you?

Me: Damn, funny how the tables turn, huh? Remember back when it was me asking you this and you said "Cause that's my dude", all the while fucking his brains out? Wow. . .

Her: So if ya'll not fucking, why is he calling you so much. This number is in here like ten fucking times.

Me: I know right? That nigga be beat as hell calling me all the fucking time, You need to get his ass a chew toy to keep him busy while you at work, shit!

Her: Alright look, I know we did you dirty back then, but the game is different this time around, we got a family and shit.

Me: silence.

Her: Hello?

Me: Yea, I'm here.

Her: Did you hear me?

Me: Yea, I heard that bullshit, I'm just trying to figure out why we're still on the phone.

Her: I just need to know what's going on.

Me: I'm not sure what you wanna know. I already told you I'm not fucking him. My days of sharing that dick with you are long gone. Trust.

Her (sounding defeated and truly confused): I just don't understand why he keeps calling you. He said ya'll were thru and that he didn't give a fuck about you. So why is he still blowing up your phone and shit?!?!?

Silence

Her: HELLO!

Me: Uh uh. . see now. . .don't start wit' that yelling shit cause you will get off this phone with a bruised ass ego. I already told you, I don't know what you want to hear and frankly this convo ain't nearly as amusing as I initially thought it would be so. . .

Her: Alright. Just tell me this. Have ya'll gone out or anything?

Me: "Out"? Hell to the naw, my boyfriend would choke the shit outta me if he heard I was walking the street with some nigga. Hell no!

Her: So why . . .

Me (actually starting to feel kind of sorry for the girl): Listen, he just checks in every now and then to see if me and my son are alright, that's all.

Her: Yea, I figured that, but why??? Why the fuck he worried about your house when he here. It ain't his responsibility to be looking in on ya'll like ya'll his family. That's not even his fucking baby!!

Me (taking a deep breathe, any trace of sympathy now gone because for some reason that shit hit a nerve): Alright listen, whether you want to acknowledge it or not, dude still sees us, me and my baby, as his family. And I doubt if he's going to stop trying to take care of us and make sure we're alright anytime soon. Now if I were you, I'd be less concerned about figuring out why he's still checking in on me and really try and ponder why it that your rent for this month is going to have to wait to get paid until next payday and what he did with that $930 instead.

Her: What? He gave you money???

Me (realizing that I have my own man and issues to worry about and frankly getting tired of holding the phone and kinda mad that I'm now going to have to rewind and start the episode of "Dirt" all over again cause this bitch can't control her emotions): Tasha I gotta go because I don't even want to compromise being the bigger person by rubbing shit all in your face as some kind of revenge. I'd be dead ass wrong for pointing out how ironic it is that when the two of you started fucking around, you made it a point to rub those funky ass air force ones that he bought you in my face and now here you are, 3 yrs later with your heart all invested in this nigga, a kid and still no ring and a late fee for your rent cause your man want to be paying tuition bills for kids he ain't even make and shit. I gotta go. But be sure to tell him I said "thanx" when he comes home.

Click.

She called back but I didn't answer.

He has since called to. He left me a message saying that he knew it was going to happen because even though he knew better than to store name and number in his phone, her seeing the number sooo many times and it not being stored was what tipped her off. He apologized for her calling and said it was fucked up that I told cause I could've just hung up on her. Apparently, he's going to let shit cool down for a few weeks before he tries to call me again, but I can just email him if me or TLC2 need anything and that it be easier for him to get shit to me if I would just be cool if she ever called again. (Cause apparently he has no plans on not keeping in touch with me)

SMH

Some niggas never. fucking. learn. . .


Fin.