Testing

Don’t mind me folks. Just testing out some things.

 

As you were.

Side-Piece Blues

Ok, so if you all recall, Obama went back home to give his family another try the end of June. That shit hurt like hell, I swear.  But. at the same time, I was able to get myself into kind of a pilot mode where I was just kind of numb instead of hurting. I was only able to do that because I knew hoped that it was no where near the end of what ever it was that he and I were. He had already made too much of a presence in my life, so us not communicating at all was totally out of the question - for both of us.

However, there was absolutely no denying that our relationship had definitely changed. i went from waking up to him every morning and going to sleep caressing his back every night, to only seeing him once a week like we had in the beginning. At times, I didn't even get that. This was for the best, I know, especially since i was the main one to vocalize that I was a distraction to what he was trying to work on. It just hurt like a son-of-a-bitch for him to agree and begin to handle me accordingly. He also lost his phone around his time and refused to replace it because "she" often went thru his phone and he didn't want problems. So not only did I see him at BEST, once a week, I barely got to talk to him and when I did it had to be HIM that called ME. That time  perriod was some bullshit, but it had it's benefits.

In that time I was able to concentrate on my son and get him re-adjusted to being back in MOMMY's house. Sweet Black Pipe also played a role as "potential boo". He's still in the picture to an extent, but only as an extra  basket to hold a few eggs in. *shrugs*

Obama re-appeared significantly the week of my birthday (the last week in August).  We didn't discuss the status of his home life, but I deduced from the amount of time I was suddenly receiving (overnights included) that the warm, fuzzy feeling they'd experienced while the baby (who is just fine and preparing for her 1st birthday next month) was in the hospital had worn off. As far as he and I, it was like we never missed a beat. We fell right back into "us" immediately.

I went out with my girls on the night of my birthday (which damn near ended me in jail for the attempted murder of one of my closest and dearest childhood friends {Egypt}....sigh....another blog, another story...)

Anyway, Obama was waiting for me when they dropped me off at home and he and I spent the rest of the weekend, and most of that week together.....a week later, he was  gone again.

So much has happened....

But the main part is:

They broke up for good. And in other news...

I'm definitely in love....I know....shocked the shit outta me too. :-/

Fuck!

Anywho, that;s all for now. I'll be back with more when I have a better idea of what the hell is going on right now....cause I honestly have no fucking clue. I've already told him* that we need to talk...and I plan on it being of the "where is this going" persuasion...so we'll see. After much nail biting, I've decided that I shall simply state the following:

"Yea, so....apparently I'm in love with you now.... so please take that into consideration when dealing with me from here on...and if you hurt me, I'll fuckin kill you."

Good, yes? lol

Toodles for now.....

*do I really need to say his name anymore?

Since birds of a feather, trife together.....

I would like to introduce you all to my favorite people in the enitre world. If you think I'm a piece of work, wait until you check out, my homie,  The Head Mistress

Show her some love, follow/comment...just keep in mind, she will respond., so don't get crazy. *Bon qui qui voice*



As for me, trying something different with Obama this week. Update coming soon.... one way or another...

Facebook

I'm on it now.

Add me for mini-blogs thruought the day. :)

Email: enigmajones08@gmail.com

Name: Lashelle Enigma-Jones

I know, I know...

I suck.

I dropped the bomb about Obama and then just dropped off the face of blogspot. My bad. Seriously. Work has just been more....work than usual. But rest assured. I am not somewhere crying my eyes our over a man that was never mine. The end of the tryst hurt, but we all know I cam into the situation with my eyes wide open and regardless of how it ended, it was a beautiful experience while it lasted. He is still around, just to a different extent. I know I can call him when I need something and he'll do whatever he can to make it happen or find someone who can if he can"t. At the end of the day, I'm happy with that.

Like I said, work has been a tad hectic lately....but even that is fine since it gives me ammo to go to my boss in January for my yearly review and demand more money. So yea, I;'m good.

My baby is home....I know I don"t usually talk too much about my role as "mommy" on here, and I have my reasons for that. But having him back is the best feeling ever. He's such a character! I don't see how I didn't lose my mind for the year that he was gone. Maybe I'll share a few stories with you guys abut my baby, we'll see...

"Sweet Black Pipe"has resurfaced...that's a whole blog in itself...coming soon.

I'm buying a laptop in the next week or so, so I should be able to give you guys a more detailed update soon.

In the meantime, I'd suggest watching a reality show or two to get your fuckery fix until I return. ;)

Oh yea, my sister (yea, that one) came home to visit this weekend. This makes only the second time I've seen her since our falling our. The first time being right after my dad passed. So yea, ummm...expect a blog on that soon as well....

Toodles snitches~! ;)

Release....

Editor's Note: During our last conversation I kept hesitating. He told me to tell him what was on my mind. I asked him what the point would be. He told me so that I could get it off my chest. I told him I have other ways of releasing.....

                            

*************************************

Unholy thoughts in a moral mind.

Carnal desires fading with emotions on overdrive….

Fire…and…desire?!?!?!?

It wasn’t suppose to ever get to this.

Since the kiss with which it began was oh so innocent

Who….is….this?!?!?

How dare you creep into my mental!

With thoughts of “pink” and other sentimentals

Who….let…..you ….. in?!?!?!?!

Because I know it was not me….

Not with these bricks of ice shielding my person ever so strategically…

Leave….me….be?!?!?!

But baby wait….is there nothing I can do to stop you from going?

Oh yea….guess for a moment I let myself believe that this moment of ours was not one stolen.

I will….let….you….go?!?!?!?

Just please not right at this moment.

What say you we lay in this blanket of lust and sin…just until our final atonement…?

*sigh*

Yes, love….I…guess…you’re…right?!?!?

What needs to be done now is evident.

Our feelings at this point? Irrelevant.

And….just… to… think….

      The kiss with which it began was oh so innocent....

…and the tear it ended with?

Just…

As…

Unexpected….

 

Currently Under Construction

"... too many times...I've been wrong... I guess being right... takes too
long..."

FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

his daughter is in the hospital right now and has been for the past two days with some sort of infection they detected in her urine right now she's getting all of these tests so they have to keep her there for most of the week Obama has been at the hospital most of the time and stayed there last night with his daughter's mother this morning he informed me that they had a long sit down and now he is cinfused and feels like he needs to try again to work things our with her for the sake of the chil I understand it and respecthim for it but given what he's tol dme about their relationship both pre and post chil I doubt if it will owrk he says he enjoys every minute with me and doesn"t want anything to change I told him I can"t go back to being what he does Friday nights after the club closes and he said he'd never expect me too I said well if your working on your family you should do away with the side pieces anyway He said I was never a sidepiece and was always more to him then that and he never meant for me to get hurt but he doesn"t want to drag me along in his shit Now I'm going to go to the river and hope the pain washes away with each wave i see...

Really doesn't really make ME any less trifling tho, now does it?

Obama and I are headed about 90mph in a very good direction.

I'm done being afraid of my attachment to him. Nope, no slash thru - I am attached to Obama. And I told him as much. And instead of hesitation, there was excitement. I mentioned begging afraid - of needing him and losing him, of my son getting attached - because I know he will - Obama is a good guy, a genuinely GOOD GUY...and my son is drawn to that...just like his mama...Instead of him telling me he'd fall back a little to avoid that, he told me he'd thought about the same thing. And was afraid himself of getting attached to my son. Especially since his daughter's mother has been threatening to keep him from her. …because she wants him to come back home - and he refuses - because they've "always had problems" and had broken up weeks before they found out she was pregnant. And they got back together the first few months, but realized there was no making it work. “And then you {I} came back into the picture.” And then his daughter was born. And there was more trying to make a "square peg fit into a triangle slot"...that is...until he starting realizing that I "was looking more and more like the perfect fit"...and that makes so much sense…because the grimy dude he appeared to be when we reconnected just didn’t match the gentleman that I always knew him to be….

I told him about my idea for a non-profit. That is usually the barometer by which I decide who I can be with. If I really feel comfortable with you, then I tell you about my biggest dream - starting my non-profit. How you react to it (excitement, indifference, etc) determines where we go from there and whether we could ever have a future. Not only did he get excited, but he told me he'd always wanted to do something for young boys - somehow sports related of course. It would fit perfectly with the idea I have. I admitted to him that I'd slacked off with working on it, and that I'd have to start from scratch because I'd lost the work I'd done on it thus far. He told me that I needed to "get back to working on it so that we can get married, open it up and pop out some more big head babies" That day at work, I started working on my dream again. Because of him. Later that night, he checked the numbers for the Power Ball and told me that if he won I could open my non-profit tomorrow.

He's going to be subletting an apartment starting next month...and his tournament in Mexico has been pushed back to the end of July…and his sister and I may go visit him down there for our birthday weekend in August...and we're planning a road trip to VA to see some of his fam and "we can even bring your son cause my cousin has a bunch of kids he can play with"

So I say all of that to say that for now, I'm going to stop being worried about where I land....

and

just

fall.......