Me & Kanye, man...f*cking GENIUSES

Some thoughts of the last hour or so:

I wonder if the reason Mr. Big was so ok with introducing me to the "chief" was because he knew I would need it to help me get over him

I think I'm going to be a mean, cruel bitch and make boys cry. I'll be all nice at first and make them fall in love with me (married or not)* and fuck their life up real slow like. Make them be so in love wit the kid that they leave wife(y). Then, soon as I got them where I want them, I'll diss 'em and be like "You left that good woman for my trifling ass???? You stoopid!" and smh and give them the ill gas face. Yep, I wanna make boys cry....

When my parents get back in from the grocery store, my first words to them is going to have to be "Don't worry despite what it smells like, the house was never in any real jeopardy of getting burned down." ( I just reaaaalllllllyyyy wanted some cookies.)

Speaking of which...here's some real fat girl shit for you . You know Pillsbury cookie dough that comes ready to bake? Yea, well I baked 4** and ate one raw.

Yum.

I am just as fucked up as I wanted to be right now. I had a rough day. Had to go out and get me a pregnancy test at lunch. It was negative and trust your girl went and got a 12-pack of Magnums. (Yes, TK and I always use them (seriously) but there was a malfunction about two months back and then my cycle got funny on me. But, like I said it, was negative. I'll just say this, ain't nothing like those few hours before you decide it's time for you to finally take the test. All the shit that you think about. SMH... and then the simultaneous relief and disappointment you feel once it's negative. Ain't nothing like that....

Speaking of TK, I'm getting real tired of his black ass.

I read somewhere that you should make the curse words pretty with symbols and shit so that people with a block at work can still read your blog from their jobs. I tried.... I say fuck that *kanye shrug*

Haha...today my white, dorky frat-boy co-worker was telling us about his weekend, said he'd gone to a spa with his roommate (they're straight). When we gave him the side eye he said ""Well we didn't massage each other." What?! That's not usually how it's done in spas anyway...but ookaaaay!!! LMAO! Me think the boy doth protest too much! lol

OMG! These cookies are everything I want in life and more!!! nom nom nom nom***

Time to chow. Later!!!!

*Yea, I said it

**I lie...it was actually FIVE

*nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom