Mr. Big Saga Wrap-up
A week later I saw that his facebook status had changed to "In a relationship" and I shut down for awhile. So many things went thru my head, I can't even. . . .
Fast forward (again) to us exchanging belongings and me "discovering" that he wasn't in a relationship. (His explanation for changing it was that it was in order to repel a couple of girls on his friends list. At the time, he an I were not facebook friends because I had deleted him, so I didn't even get into how he disregarded my feelings. He truly didn't think I'd ever see it. Oh, and don't ask how I knew his facebook status had changed, just keep in mind that my incessant need to know what's going on keeps me busy.)
Anyway, after that night we talked on and off and I called him a few nights just to prove (to myself, I guess) that "Her" couldn't be all that if he was still dropping every thing and running whenever I called.
I stopped sleeping with him a few weeks ago, and he called every now and then. I was getting good at breathing without him around and tried to move on. I had accepted him as my facebook friend again, but was doing a good job at ignoring his existence. I didn't even update my status with him in mind. lol But, I lost my shit when I logged on and saw his status front and center: "Had a great day with my baby boo and her fam".
I dialed Sprint immediately and changed my number, I blocked and deleted him from my facebook page and last weekend I moved out of my apartment. I tried my damnedest to change my email, but discovered it would be too much work. I need to move on. I need for him to not have access to me. I am the only element that I can control, so I had to do every thing in my power to ensure that he couldn't reach me when he felt inclined to because I don't feel strong enough to not get sucked back in.
My test came just yesterday when I got an im from him:
Mr. Big (11.47am): Hi Tee
Mr. Big (11.54am): No hi?
Mr. Big (12.01am): You have a nice life 2
Now, I can't take too many kudos for being strong, because I didn't see the msg until after he had logged off. But, to my credit, when I did see it, I did't email him or im him and let him know why I hadn't responded immediately. I let it end at " You have a nice life 2".
As one of my favorite ppl would say: Time to rebuild this house of cards with Kings and Queens and get these Jokers out of here!
I think I'm ready to move on . . .
A week later I saw that his facebook status had changed to "In a relationship" and I shut down for awhile. So many things went thru my head, I can't even. . . .
Fast forward (again) to us exchanging belongings and me "discovering" that he wasn't in a relationship. (His explanation for changing it was that it was in order to repel a couple of girls on his friends list. At the time, he an I were not facebook friends because I had deleted him, so I didn't even get into how he disregarded my feelings. He truly didn't think I'd ever see it. Oh, and don't ask how I knew his facebook status had changed, just keep in mind that my incessant need to know what's going on keeps me busy.)
Anyway, after that night we talked on and off and I called him a few nights just to prove (to myself, I guess) that "Her" couldn't be all that if he was still dropping every thing and running whenever I called.
I stopped sleeping with him a few weeks ago, and he called every now and then. I was getting good at breathing without him around and tried to move on. I had accepted him as my facebook friend again, but was doing a good job at ignoring his existence. I didn't even update my status with him in mind. lol But, I lost my shit when I logged on and saw his status front and center: "Had a great day with my baby boo and her fam".
I dialed Sprint immediately and changed my number, I blocked and deleted him from my facebook page and last weekend I moved out of my apartment. I tried my damnedest to change my email, but discovered it would be too much work. I need to move on. I need for him to not have access to me. I am the only element that I can control, so I had to do every thing in my power to ensure that he couldn't reach me when he felt inclined to because I don't feel strong enough to not get sucked back in.
My test came just yesterday when I got an im from him:
Mr. Big (11.47am): Hi Tee
Mr. Big (11.54am): No hi?
Mr. Big (12.01am): You have a nice life 2
Now, I can't take too many kudos for being strong, because I didn't see the msg until after he had logged off. But, to my credit, when I did see it, I did't email him or im him and let him know why I hadn't responded immediately. I let it end at " You have a nice life 2".
As one of my favorite ppl would say: Time to rebuild this house of cards with Kings and Queens and get these Jokers out of here!
I think I'm ready to move on . . .
2 comments:
Sorry but i HAVE to give you kudos for taking the necessary steps to make sure he can't contact you. I know that if my dude and I ever break it off (AGAIN), I would need to do the same thing: change my number, move, get a different email, and change my blog (cuz dude only reads it when we're not "on"), but would I do all of that? Probably not.
Gotta give you your props for that.
So what in the hell was he doing with you all this time, to turn around and say he needs to start over with a brand new person? That makes no sense. I will never understand men!!
Thanks Suga, my bestie is amazed by my new will power too, because she knows I usually go running back. But at some point you just get sick and tired of the bs. I've been tested twice since then (my son's school is about a block from his house and one of the buses I need to catch to get home is right across the street from where you leaves. Two days in a row-Tuesday and yesterday - my son and I have been at the bus stop and he has come out the house or been going in the house. Both time he stood outside for an unreasonable amount of time thinking I'd wave him over or even acknowledge him. Fail each time. I'm so done.
And I have no idea what he was doing with me and, honestly, I try to avoid even thinking about it because doing so only makes me want to do "hoodrat stuff" to his preciosu car. lol
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