Introducing: The Street Fighter {Pt. Deux}/ Random Chick

Clickity click here for part one.

The next day, Street Fighter calls me and we have maybe a one hour conversation where I learned quite a few things about him:

1- He has THREE children, all girls, randing in age from 3-14.

2- His 14 yr old is living in Florida with her mom buts wants to come live with him and he told her "when I find me a good woman you can come back". {WHAT THE FUCK?}

3- Street Fighter is by noooo means the brightest bulb in the box nor the sharpest knife in the drawer. In fact, he's kinda dumber than a bag of really dumb rocks.

4- Though he is clearly in shape, over the phone he sounds as if he weighs 400+ pounds and someone is holding his head under water. He probably sounds like this in person too, but the music in the bar has probably helped in me not noticing. That and the many shots of Jeremiah on Fire! lol

5- He dominates the conversation, but really says absolutely nothing!

At this point I realize that giving him my number was a mistake since there's no possible way for me to ever even consider dating him. You know, since that whole communication thing is pretty important to me. We get off of the phone and I call my bestie, "T" who informs me that I better do what I gotta due because she ain't about to be turned away from Barbara's. lol

The next day, Monday night, I get a call from a number I don't recognize. I think nothing of it and send it to voicemail.

On Tuesday, Street Fighter and I are texting our convo goes like this:

(ripped straight from my cell)

Street Fighter: 'What,s up bab"

Me: "Nothin much. How are you?"

Street Fighter: "I,am ok today but I went you"

Me (fighting the urge to write something insuling back like "You went with me where?" Instead I write): "You keep saying that but you can't tell me what it is you want from me"

Street Fighter: "what I went is to make love to you and went you to be with me." (yes he really kept spelling "want" as "went") *sigh*

Me: You don't even know me tho

Street Fighter: I know enough to be with you (no he doesn't)

Me: Well I don't know enough about you (and what I do know ain't good homie)

Street Fighter: Well you sood know by now

Me: How? I only see you at the bar when you're working

Street Fighter: "That,s y you sood see me mor" (yes, he continued to use a comma as an apostrophe and spelled "should" as "sood" again)

Me: "U've never asked to c me tho

Street Fighter: "I all way,s what to see you that,s y i call you all the time" (Yes, that is exactly how he wrote it)

At that point I just stopped reponding because quite frankly his lack of respect for the English language and the rules of punctuation was pissing me off to the highest level of pisstivity.

The next day I get this text from the same number that I had ignored the call from on Monday night:

"Street Fighter said he don't foot u like him cuz u always foot wit ur friends" (yes, the word "foot" was randomly placed within the text like that.) I don't respond and I figure that the number belongs to random chick from the bar before aka Street Fighter's friend. I'm automatically disgusted thinking this grown ass man is on some real grammar school type ish and I ain't got the time. Like seriously was he sitting there telling her to text that crap to me? Cause how old is everybody here? Smch

The next day I get a call again from the number and this time I answer it and put my phone on mute. I hear a girl's voice telling a kid to go get some cereal (it's like 9pm on a Wednesday btw). She then says "Hello" as if she just remembered she'd made a call and I hang up. The hell would we have to talk about?????

The next day get a text from her with a picture of some chick laying down in a bed completely topless, nips and all showing. The text said something about the girl spreading HIV all over east and westside (don't know where the hell that is since that does not describe the areas of my city at all). The text gives the girl's full name and asks that I forward it to everyone I know so that she doesn't get them too since she likes guys and girls. Now I'm pissed. Like how the hell does this chick think it's ok to send porn to some strange woman's phone??? Plus, what the hell I look like forwarding that? For all I know the chick is completely innocent of what she's been accused of and someone is just trying to spread nasty rumors about her. I delete the texts and me and my bestie decide that Street Fighter must go, but in a way as to not get us banned from Barbara's forever.

Two days later random chick sends me a text that read: "Can you send a pic of you so that I can have it so when you call I could see you i gadgu a new phone and don't have any pic no more in the phone". *Sigh* 1- I don't call you, so right there your whole theory as to why you need my pic is debunked. 2- You never had a pic of me in your phone- new phone or not. Again, I ignore her.

We do our usual bar hop the next weekend (the same day I fried Sweet Black Pipe some chicken  ) and Street Fighter calls me while we're at the Sticky Rug and I ask him why he gave old girl my number. He tells me he don't know what I'm talking about and I tell him I'll be there in a lil while and we'll talk about it then. My friend Egypt hears all this and says that random chick had her number as well and that she'd gotten the feeling that 'ole girl was kind clingy. This sets my side eye off something serious and I started to think maybe Street Fighter didn't give her my number after all, maybe my "friend" Egypt did.

We get to Barbara's and again Street Fighter is profuesly denying giving her my number and is saying he doesn't know why she'd be calling me either. Whatever. I let it go for the night and coninue to enjoy myself. (that is until we are heading to the pizza parlor at the end of the night and Egypt asks me for a kiss then gets mad when I decline causing me to spazz out yelling. SMH Another story, for another blog entry on another day...)

The next day, Sunday, I decide enough is enough and I text old girl and ask "Who is this and how did you get my number" to which she replies, "Old Girl and you gave it to me." I swear that text right there was my equivelient to "The call is coming from inside the house." lol I start trying going back to that night to see when I could have possibly given her my number. Then I remember a very important fact- I'm not beat> There is no way on God's green Earth that I gave any random looking chick my number. Uh uh..it ain't happen. Anyone that knows me knows at least this one fact: I don't trust chicks and I don't need anymore friends. Point blank. Now I will admit to have a bi-curious side to me, however, i don't use my pimp hand for memebers of the same sex. And IF I ever did, it would be on a chick that I thought was a certified banger. The fact that I insist on labeling old girl as "random chick" or "old girl" {lol} speaks volumes to the fact that looks-wise she failed is average at best.  I conferred with my bestie and she called bullshit at just the thought.  Clearly someone is trying to bamboozle me. I'm really just not sure if it's my "friend" Egypt or Street Fighter at this point tho.

My bestie also suggested that old girl might be a lil smitten with the kid. Always a Modest Molly*, I shot down that theory with the quickness. But, that was before I received yet another text from old girl, this time inviting me to her upcoming birthday bash where she says all invited should "be on yur Best I will be having a few CELEBS coming thur to Celebrate with..." and included this pic:

  

I think now is definately a good time for me to be scared. lol But I also think that, should she call/text me again, I am well within my bitch boundaries to give her a good what for.

As for Street Fighter, he text me today wanting to know "Win we going to sin time togith". lmao Dumber than  a bag of dumb ass rocks, ain't he? lol

At first I said I wanted to go eat, but my bestie helped me realize that I'd then have to talk to him. Since I have no intentions on being sober during our "date" and since I have been wanting to see Alice in Wonderland higher than a high kite, I told him I wanna see that instead. Now, if he declines, I'll be able to be like, "OMG, you're so selfish and not at all attentive to my needs and because of this we can just never be!" *insert dramatic exit here* lol Either way, trust ya girl will have a story to tell...and really, that's what it's all about ain't it?

Later my lovlies!

* Ha!! Modest Molly my ass!!!!! What I need to due is olearn how to turn all this sexy off!!! lol Just kidding...but seriously tho...