Ok, So I'm not in love with Obama, but for a minute there he was blurring the lines. I actually had to pull back from him and go awhile without seeing him because I felt like he was trying to confuse me. How you ask? Well it started one night when we were at my house watching a movie. My friends were going out and I had chose to stay in with Obama so that I could get me some. (yea, I said it).
Well, after a drink or two, I started feeling seeeeeexy (beyonce voice) and I went to to the bathroom only to descover that my "Auntie" had arrived two days early. I came out of the bathroom extremely upset. Like stomping-my-feet-and-yelling, "This is BULLSHIT" -upset. He asked what was wrong and like a big baby I told him I'd started my period and poked out my lip and said "I never get to have sex" (Yes, "Dramatic" is my middle name) and pouted even harder. He stood up, looked in my eyes, caressed my cheek with his thumb, kissed my forehead and said, "I don't come over here for sex, I come over for you, silly" and laughed.
Now in that split second, I loved him. I loved him with all of my heart and I thanked God for sending him my way. Then I remembered that he wasn't mine and I started to walk around the house finding something to where. He saw this and asked if I was going out and I said yea. He reponded with just an, "Oh." and got quiet. So I went over to him, hugged him and said, "Why, you wanna stay here and cuddle and talk about our feelings instead?" And laughed. I think I actualluy hurt his feelings because he didn't even respond, he just finished smoking, watched me transfrom from "sweatpants, hair tied, chillin with no make-up on" to 'Party, party, party, let's all get wasted" and then waited outside with me until "T" came to pick me up. Looking back, I know he was sitting there liek WTF?!? but dude....c'mon....let's not make this something its not and could never be. Not only are you in a relationship that includes a newborn, but you've succeeded in letting me kno wthat I could NEVER trust you. It is what it is.*kanye shrug*
Now had I gotten sucked into whatever it was he was doing, I'd be in a clusterfuck of emotions right now. Especially considering how he doted on me after my dad passed. He called me numerous times a day, everyday to check on me and would ask me if I wanted company because he "couldn't handle thinking about me at home alone". I declined and made sure I only saw him on the weekends and only on Friday or Saturday. Never both and never more than that.
The last time we slept together he was saying relationshipy stuff like, "You missed Daddy, didn't you" and "This ___got my name all over it don't it?". Now, I think the reason for this was from him realizing that he's the only person I've been sleeping with and it going to his head. But still...his ass needs to get focused before I fall in love and ish becomes a problem. *sigh*
It also doesn't help that he comes in replacing lightbulbs and whatnot and taking out garbage and stuffs. He even mentioned something about moving into a studio apartment (which I ignored). All I know is he needs to get focused and remember what this is: A jumpoff situation. I'll do my part to make sure ish don't get out of hand, but I'mma really need him to get it together.
I think it would be easier for me if he wasn't someone that I would deal with on another level, but he is. When we first started talking, a few years ago, I put him in the potential boo category- which is why it took me so long to sleep with him back then. The fact that I genuinely like him is a problem- which is why I need for someone else to take up my time so that I don't get caught up into he and I too much.
*sigh* and smh
I know, I know...I could just stop sleeping with and seeing him, right? But really, what's the fun in that??? Plus the sex is soooooooooo good. So. Good.
No comments:
Post a Comment